Trump’s attack on Iran was a war of his own choosing,
Though his reasons for it ran from dumb to confusing.
He said we’ve now won the war twelve times,
Though there are no “Mission Accomplished” signs.
So, if we’re winning this much, why does it feel like we’re losing?
Some have characterized Trump’s environmental record as unholy,
As he guts wind and solar and focuses on fossil fuels solely.
But when trying to promote the nastiest fuel,
You need help from a traditional marketing tool —
An animated, anthropomorphized lump of anthracite named “Coalie.”
Karoline Leavitt just had her second kid with her “older guy,”
But she’s just off on maternity leave — it’s not a permanent goodbye.
Among the upcoming baby milestones,
They’re anticipating at the Leavitt home,
The one closest to the press sec’s heart surely is Baby’s First Lie.
Donald Trump is finding that prosecuting a Mideast war is very hard,
Especially when you’re up against the ruthless Islamic Republican Guard.
Like he said from the beginning,
We’re not losing, we’re winning,
And as for the negotiations, Trump claims he holds “All the cards.”
When we think of South Korea, we think of boy bands rapping,
But every year in Seoul they hold an unusual happening.
City fathers were worried
That city life is too hurried,
So they created a festival that celebrates competitive napping.
There were 17 temblors in 24 hours under the hot Nevada sun,
That’s an unusual number of earthquakes — ask almost anyone.
And what of those dead and missing scientists,
Providing fodder for weirdo conspiracists,
But conspiracy theories and mysteries have always surrounded Area 51.
Trump The Builder is involved in a number of construction projects,
There’s the ballroom, the Kennedy Center and the Arch, among prospects.
Imelda Marcos and Hitler had the same malady,
Which features a futile grasp at immortality,
And now Donald Trump is showing unmistakeable symptoms of an edifice complex.
The news from Trump’s economy these days is all doom and gloom,
And though he’s ended it twelve times, Trump’s ending the Iran war again soon.
All this bad news really rankles
Trump — from his hairdo to his cankles —
When all he really wants to do is build his big, beautiful ballroom.
The current state of our national political debate is pathetic,
And politicians’ performative stunts make us crave an emetic.
But when the bullets start flying,
Both sides start denying:
Saying MY violent rhetoric is less violent than YOUR violent rhetoric.
Trump and the Iranians seem to be in different realities,
Though they share a callousness toward the war’s casualties.
Is Trump insane
Or just insanely vain?
And how can we extract ourselves from his “Quagmire of the Vanities?”
