Perils of Bipartisanship
Matt Gaetz is just a shutdown-promoting asshat
Who wants to oust McCarthy if he works with Democrats.
But he needs the cooperation
Of the Democrat delegation,
So what do they do to Gaetz if HE works with Democrats?
Category: Poetic Justice
Third-Rate Debaters
The second GOP debate proved the wannabes are just mean,
And their would-be one-liners were just the stuff of memes.
If their disputational performance
Is indicative of their governance,
They would all be kicked off the middle school debate team.
A Clown and a Shutdown
Kevin McCarthy is a sad spineless clown,
Who’s letting the wingnuts kick him around.
The House right-wingers
Are just performative whingers
Who’re pushing the country toward a government shutdown.
Rapping Sap Slapped
Vivek Ramaswamy is a smarmy little sap.
He’s got a smirky face you just want to slap.
But performing as “Da Vek” he
Went and pissed off Slim Shady —
And Eminem said cease and desist hustling my rap.
The Not-Great Debate
It’s the night of the Republican primary debate,
And it’s likely to decide some candidates’ fate.
We’ll miss that big orange fucker
Who’ll be Twitter-chatting with Tucker,
So, as must-see TV it’ll probably just be … third-rate.
Smells Like DeSantis
By now you probably have heard,
In New Hampshire Ron DeSantis is third.
In the current list he
Trails Chris Christie,
As his campaign circles the bowl — like a turd.
Old and In the Way
There’s a new meaning to “the world’s ‘oldest’ democracy,”
Where “who lasts longest” has replaced our time-tested meritocracy.
With Trump, Feinstein, McConnell and Biden,
We’re led by septa-, nona- and octogenarians.
Americans of all ages unite! And welcome to the gerontocracy!
Florida: Not a Slave to Truth
When it comes to questions of compensation
Florida is ahead of the rest of the nation.
In case you’ve forgotten,
We taught Blacks how to plant and pick cotton,
So forget reparations, they should pay whites back for their enslaved education.
Hood’s Off, Tommy
He is absolutely no Winston Churchill,
But he could be the mayor of Gooberville.
You know, that racist S.O.B.,
From down in Alabamy —
The white supremacist Senator Tommy Tuberville.
Large Marge Discharged
Marjorie Taylor Greene has a rep for being obnoxious,
With her tenure in the House markedly rowdy and raucous.
The bottle-blond Georgian witch
Called Lauren Boebert a “little bitch,”
And got herself booted from the House Freedom Caucus.
