Though Pete Hegseth seems overly focused on makeup and hair,
He also wants his troops to be battle-ready and fully prepared.
To be at their “absolute best,”
They’ll take a testosterone test,
And if found deficient, will receive gender-affirming health care.
Donald Trump has done a heckuva job leading our grateful nation.
For his many projects and interior designs, he deserves an ovation.
So what to give a guy who has everything —
Another plaque, or a medal or a signet ring?
How about a 10-foot-tall gold trophy for “Iran War Participation.”
He was known in the Senate for his special brand of feydom,
And when it came to Trumpian ass-kissing, he was a perfect specimen.
We’ll remember him as someone less than grand —
Standing alone at Disney World, bubble wand in hand.
But now it’s time to say goodbye and good riddance, Lindsey Graham.
From Donald Trump the world’s modern populists are taking a cue,
When scandal erupts they dish out a helping of “deep state” stew.
If a cabal of elites attacks democracy,
The modern populists cry out “WWTD!”
For when globalists attack, modern populists ask, “What Would Trump Do?”
Eric Trump got the Palm Beach airport renamed in honor of his pop,
But the vain attempt to curry favor with daddy was bound to flop.
See, the logo Eric provided
Has now widely been derided
As just another instance of half-assed Trump-produced AI slop.
<The retooling of Trump’s Freedom 250, where will it end?
The has-beens set to play decided they’d rather not attend.
How best to celebrate our 250-year-old democracy,
As it’s being replaced by a Christo-fascist autocracy?
How about the national anthem as sung by Kash Patel’s girlfriend.
