For 40 days and 40 nights, it looked like democracy might be saved.
The Democrats were united while the Republicans just looked depraved.
But faced with the GOP’s lust for cruelty,
Out the window went party fealty,
And without a concession or compromise, eight cowardly Democrats caved.
Some people think of Kentuckians as uninformed, uneducated hicks,
But they want to exercise their right to vote, even in the sticks.
Kentucky’s secretary of state went to work,
Saying they couldn’t vote for mayor of New York,
But assured that Kentucky’s polls would open again for elections — in 2026.
Keystone Kash Patel’s jet-setting at our expense has got to end,
His frivolous flights are an abuse of power he can’t defend.
And it was a predictable disaster,
You’d expect from a second-rate podcaster,
Though we were surprised and amused to learn Kash has a girlfriend.
To be a U.S. Border Protection agent you must be a tough sumbitch,
Able to arrest and detain immigrants or citizens without a hitch.
But then along comes Sean Charles Dunn,
Considered a hero of the resistance by some,
Who bravely stood up to fascist invaders armed only with a Subway sandwich.
On Tuesday Republicans saw an undeniable exposure of their party’s flaws,
And it’s clear that inflation, jobs and the shutdown were the cause.
Despite his obvious culpability,
Trump shirked all responsibility,
Asserting with caustic certainty, “I WASN’T ON THE BALLOT!” (Oh, but he was!)
The ranks of prospective ICE agents are swiftly thinning,
With drug addicts, criminals and slobs those ranks are brimming.
Over a third can’t pass the physical test,
And the rest are, simply, not the best —
They cleave to the notion that black Kevlar riot gear is slimming.
