Vice President JD Vance is off on an essential mission:
Vance-splaining Trump’s lies, like a truth beautician.
He ‘splained Catholicism to the Pope,
As if Leo was a dunderheaded dope,
Now he’s ‘splaining to the GOP how to win the midterm elections.
JD Vance must wonder sometimes what he got himself into,
Following behind Donald Trump doing rhetorical jiujitsu.
Taking all the dumb lies Trump said,
And telling what Trump “meant” instead,
As the midterms loom, JD has a lot of “Vance-splaining” to do.
Xi and Trump got together to practice their propaganda,
Talking AI and oil before the state dinner extravaganza.
But when it came down to deal-making,
There was some giving and taking,
With Trump giving Xi Taiwan and Xi sending Atlanta two pandas.
What if you planned a Kentucky MAGA event and only heard crickets?
Previously, announcing Freedom Fest turned on the money spigots.
Kid Rock was planned as headliner,
But organizer Eric Deters was a whiner:
The “best MAGA event” had only sold six one-thousand-dollar VIP tickets.
Don Jr. and Bettina are finding out marriage ain’t a walk in the park,
Not even when your daddy is a self-proclaimed genius and wannabe monarch.
It began with a small private wedding ceremony,
But the after-parties were where it really got tony,
With fireworks and a private Bahamian island, paid for by a Russian oligarch.
