If the DNC won’t release its 2024 election autopsy, it can’t be read,
Anyway, it’s probably just a lot of finger pointing he said/she said.
Still, enquiring minds want to know
What happened in the 2024 shit show,
Not that it much matters because the subject of the autopsy’s still dead.
Trump’s attack on Iran was a war of his own choosing,
Though his reasons for it ran from dumb to confusing.
He said we’ve now won the war twelve times,
Though there are no “Mission Accomplished” signs.
So, if we’re winning this much, why does it feel like we’re losing?
Some have characterized Trump’s environmental record as unholy,
As he guts wind and solar and focuses on fossil fuels solely.
But when trying to promote the nastiest fuel,
You need help from a traditional marketing tool —
An animated, anthropomorphized lump of anthracite named “Coalie.”
Karoline Leavitt just had her second kid with her “older guy,”
But she’s just off on maternity leave — it’s not a permanent goodbye.
Among the upcoming baby milestones,
They’re anticipating at the Leavitt home,
The one closest to the press sec’s heart surely is Baby’s First Lie.
Donald Trump is finding that prosecuting a Mideast war is very hard,
Especially when you’re up against the ruthless Islamic Republican Guard.
Like he said from the beginning,
We’re not losing, we’re winning,
And as for the negotiations, Trump claims he holds “All the cards.”
The current state of our national political debate is pathetic,
And politicians’ performative stunts make us crave an emetic.
But when the bullets start flying,
Both sides start denying:
Saying MY violent rhetoric is less violent than YOUR violent rhetoric.
