We would have been mildly surprised if he’d said he was a vegetarian,
And we would have been shocked if he’d said he was a Rotarian.
But witless Steve Witkoff,
Showed he’s a simpering jack-off,
When he gobsmacked us by calling Vladimir Putin a “humanitarian.”
Looking for where Trump’s NOT making money? Good luck with your search.
You know he’d have a hand in the collection plate — if he went to church.
But now being a member of the MAGA faithful,
Has gotten much more fiscally painful —
Donald has raised prices by 120% on all official Trump and MAGA merch.
The United States and Ukraine no longer seem to be in synch,
After Trump lifted Russia sanctions with a grin and a wink.
Trump coordinated it with Putin,
Who ramped up the drone shooting,
After Trump and Elon Musk throttled Ukraine’s Starlink.
Trump probably hired Katie Zacharia ’cause he thought she’s a cutie,
But there’s more to press secretary-ing than being a blonde beauty.
She wasn’t fully vetted,
Now her hiring is regretted,
So her tenure was short — she didn’t even last a full Scaramucci.*
*Anthony Scaramucci was press secretary in Trump’s first administration for 11 days.
As speculation about Susie Wile’s future in the Oval swirls,
The administration’s dominated by goons, baboons and churls.
Trump’s hirings and firings aren’t based on competence,
But are instead fueled by a Y-chromosome sixth sense:
See, in Trump Term 2, the only ones who get fired are the girls.
Vice President JD Vance is off on an essential mission:
Vance-splaining Trump’s lies, like a truth beautician.
He ‘splained Catholicism to the Pope,
As if Leo was a dunderheaded dope,
Now he’s ‘splaining to the GOP how to win the midterm elections.
