While Iran is closing down the Straits of Hormuz,
Trump’s buying cabinet members Florsheim shoes.
He’s not focused on the war,
But he’s on top of the decor,
Would someone please make Trump watch something besides Fox News?
At the Pentagon, the Fourth Estate is taking a battering,
With the top-tier media outlets reduced to woolgathering.
And as if to add insult to injury,
Pete Hegseth, in a narcissistic fury,
Banned photographers for taking photos he said were “unflattering.”
As we watch markets fall and gas prices rise, Americans want to know more.
Like, if we’re bombing hell out if Iran, how is that not a war?
Oh, Iran represented an eventual immediate threat,
And regime change seemed like a pretty good bet,
But with such obscure objectives, how will we know when Iran is done for?
The Trump administration rarely bothers with a strategy or plan,
Preferring to sow chaos and disruption whenever they can.
Every day they must come up with some,
New Epstein-file coverup diversion,
And that, Dear Reader, is why the United States is making war on Iran.
Crank up them quantum computers, atomic clocks and Mars space stations,
We’re teetering on the edge of a technological revelation.
We sent it from here and we know where it went,
Even though we only received ninety percent,
But we’ve undoubtably achieved the teleportation of quantum information!
Tricia McLaughlin, DHS mouthpiece, we bid you a hearty goodbye,
We’re holding back our liberal tears and stifling leftist sighs.
Why she picked now to go,
Nobody seems to know,
But perhaps she hit her limit and just couldn’t tell one more lie.
This Trump administration is really something,
Ignoringing the rule of law, grifting off everything.
So, on this auspicious Presidents Day,
I just wanted to take a moment to say,
Remember back when we had a president and not a mad king?
Since 4chan in 2017 the QAnon conspiracy has been going strong,
Though the theory of a cabal of cannibal pedophiles could be wrong.
But now the facts emerging from the Epstein files
Have us starting to question our wits and wiles,
And beginning to wonder if the QAnon believers were right all along.
For Donald Trump, media manipulation is almost a reflex,
Which is how we got to his latest diversion: TrumpRx.
It’s certainly not an affordability solution,
But it is a rather effective prescription
To divert attention away from the Epstein files and illegal sex.
The current state of our national political debate is pathetic,
And politicians’ performative stunts make us crave an emetic.
But when the bullets start flying,
Both sides start denying:
Saying MY violent rhetoric is less violent than YOUR violent rhetoric.
