When Peter Thiel and Don Jr. funded the Enhanced Games, they had one hope:
That Olympic-level athletes would perform better when competing on dope.
But world records went unbroken
And Pete and Donnie took a soakin’,
Now they’re stuck, sliding down that slippery, money-losing transhumanism slope.
Pentqgon Pete’s “Defensive” Department’s created a new Catch-22,
Hegseth’s war on the media is petty, but what’s a Fox host to do?
By designating the room “classified,”
He’s left reporters hamstrung and hog-tied,
Because the PRESS can’t access the Pentagon PRESS office, they’re screwed.
The Dems want to move on from 2024, but the Bidens won’t let them go.
Jill’s out with her memoir and making the rounds of the talk shows.
Joe’s suing the Department of Justice,
Hunter’s doing far-right podcasts,
Please just shut the F up Bidens, that means you: Hunter, Jill and Joe!
In negotiating with Iran, Trump can’t just pull a deal off the shelf,
Not after starting the war and then asking NATO allies for help.
The guy from “The Art of the Deal”
Is only good at the Art of the Steal,
And then he’s a great negotiator when he’s self-dealing with himself.
Trump’s Interior secretary Doug Burgum is a dope.
Oval Office photo ops are the extent of his scope.
Still, he went on Fox News
To share his idiotic views,
And criticized the encyclical penned by the Pope.
Most authoritarians support their regime with propaganda,
It scores points with other dictators to whom they pander.
But Trump’s the kind of guy
Who likes to use AI,
Which is why his odious output qualifies as “slopaganda.”
It was a lawsuit about deceit, artificial intelligence and market manipulation,
As the courtroom drama between Musk and Altman gripped a war-weary nation.
In the end the jury found there was no crime,
Just Elon Musk’s ketamine-addled sense of time.
What did him in wasn’t a lofty principle, it was a three-year statute of limitations.
For once, Trump staged an event that didn’t seem to be too grifty,
It was a taxpayer-funded religious event called Rededicate 250.
Trump sent a tape from April — his speech was plodding,
But he wasn’t there because instead he went golfing,
So he missed the prayers and hymns and Christians who attended — sparsely.
If the DNC won’t release its 2024 election autopsy, it can’t be read,
Anyway, it’s probably just a lot of finger pointing he said/she said.
Still, enquiring minds want to know
What happened in the 2024 shit show,
Not that it much matters because the subject of the autopsy’s still dead.
Trump and the Iranians seem to be in different realities,
Though they share a callousness toward the war’s casualties.
Is Trump insane
Or just insanely vain?
And how can we extract ourselves from his “Quagmire of the Vanities?”
