Speaker Mike Johnson is an odious, Bible-thumping little twit,
Between Trump’s ire and contentious colleagues, he’s in a snit.
With nothing happening in the House,
One might expect the speaker to grouse,
And for once we agree — like Mike said: “I’m sick of this shit.”
Democrats say that House Speaker Mike Johnson
On Tuesday should have stayed in Washington.
Instead, to NYC he humped,
To show his fealty to Trump.
Next motion to vacate, Dems say, calls for a “utilitarian calculation.”
She’s a one-woman hit squad, is Mad Marge Greene,
And her plan for Mike Johnson is nasty and mean.
But she’ll be disappointed
When the votes are all counted
And she finds that she’s lost to the Dems and Hakeem.
Boredbat.com: Members of House Republican leadership expressed frustration at Speaker Mike Johnson after a GOP leadership retreat over the weekend, organized to outline plans for keeping the majority, quickly turned into a religious service.
“I’m not at church,” an anonymous attendee said in response to Johnson leading the group in prayers and Christian sermonizing. According to two people in the room the sermon was not well received, with one Rep. calling the session “horrible.”
Johnson was reportedly railing against government, saying that without God in their lives people will turn to the government for guidance. The sermon lasted for a full third of the meeting according to the anonymous members.
“I think what he was trying to do, but failed on the execution of it, was try to bring us together,” the anonymous source said. “The sermon was so long he couldn’t bring it back to make the point.”
Pundits say that Trump’s $5,000 midterm bribe was an overreach,
And they agree that if lies were a crime, he’d be impeached.
Despite all the dividend promises he’s made,
The fact is, not one has ever been paid,
So even before the midterms, he already owes us $8,000* each.
*$5000 stimulus checks via “DOGE dividend”; $2000 stimulus checks via a “tariff dividend”; $1000-plus checks via “savings” from expiring Affordable Care Act subsidies
