Even with all his outside-court sidewalk yellin’,
The jury wasn’t buying what he was sellin’.
So now in addition to sexual predator
And a guy who cheats on wives and creditors,
Dirtbag Donald J. Trump is a 34-count convicted felon.
So marks the end of Nikki Haley’s “zombie campaign.”
The 20 percent who voted for her did so in vain.
Though she didn’t endorse him,
She did say she’d vote for him,
But Nikki, to Donald Trump they’re one in the same.
We watched as Wobbly Donald wallowed in odium,
Maybe, like RFK Jr., he’s got a brain plasmodium.
In his speech at the NRA,
He stumbled, mumbled and swayed,
During his wrestling match with a left-leaning podium.
Well, you’ve gone and done it now, Bibi.
You’ve invoked the ire of the I.C.C.
Not for rude rhetoric
Or just being a dick,
Nope, this charge is for crimes against humanity.
We’ve long had doubts about Justice Sam Alito,
Who, it appears, has the ethics of a mosquito.
He blamed the upside-down flag
On his wife, that old nag,
So that his right-wing biases might remain incognito.
In candidates poll numbers can strike holy terror,
With pundits cheerfully serving as bad-news bearers.
But it’s good to remember,
We’re a long way from November,
And most poll results are well within the margin of error.
Democrats say that House Speaker Mike Johnson
On Tuesday should have stayed in Washington.
Instead, to NYC he humped,
To show his fealty to Trump.
Next motion to vacate, Dems say, calls for a “utilitarian calculation.”
Sure, he played fast and loose with secret documents,
And he totally ignored the Constitution on emoluments.
But it seems we’ve forgotten
Trump’s job performance was truly rotten,
And that his presidency was notable for his gross incompetence.
RFK Jr. is ramping up his campaign,
But we think he’s got a lot to explain.
Why is he anti-vaccines?
And why all the conspiracy memes?
Said Kennedy: “That easy, a worm ate my brain.”
She’s a one-woman hit squad, is Mad Marge Greene,
And her plan for Mike Johnson is nasty and mean.
But she’ll be disappointed
When the votes are all counted
And she finds that she’s lost to the Dems and Hakeem.
The Freedom Gas Network mystery has been solved,
Almost overnight in PA and NJ the stations evolved.
So, we wonder, how do they keep
Gas prices so relatively cheap?
Some think that 200,000 gallons of stolen fuel is involved.
