Whipping Up Support
Donald Trump’s campaign seems to be tanking
While he’s being dissed by generals of high ranking.
But Tucker Carlson thinks:
Time to indulge my kinks —
“Daddy” Trump’s gonna give Miss America a “vigorous spanking.”
Category: Poetic Justice
Distrust Musk or Bust
So Putin’s been having phone chats with Elon Musk,
And we’d like to know more about what they discussed.
By doing Starlink favors for Xi
And spreading misinfo with glee,
Musk is a dangerous rich guy we just can’t afford to trust.
Hold the Fries
Just days after Trump cooked some fries at Micky D’s
There followed an outbreak of deadly e.coli disease.
Is it just a coincidence
Or just another incidence
Of Trump spreading his special brand of skeeze?
Cock Blocks and Door Knocks
While Trump’s closing campaign argument features Arnold Palmer’s cock,
Kamala Harris has a ground game even Matt Gaetz says rocks.
But as Trump plays the declining sap,
Elon Musk’s America PAC canvassing app
Says Trump’s ground game is plagued by one-in-four “fake door knocks.”
Trump’s Crappo Crypto
Trump’s new crypto was to “make finance great again,”
It’s found where grift and greed overlap in Trump’s Venn.
The Trump boys think it’s swell,
But the website went to hell,
So Trump’s crypto was rendered crappo in the end.
The Enemy Within HIM
Trump’s latest bogeyman is “the enemy within,”
Which will be unleashed, he says, if he doesn’t win.
He says the election’s rigged,
But we think he’s flipped his wig,
And the real enemy within is him! It’s HIM!
Greene Hoaxes Helene
We’ve heard some crazy from Marjorie Taylor Greene,
But her latest conspiracy is the craziest we’ve yet seen.
Nuttier than Jewish space lasers,
She now says Dems control the weather,
And to hurt red states, they created Hurricane Helene.
Happy Violent Day!
At Trump’s rallies, there’s no telling what he’ll say,
As his dementia and anger come more and more into play.
But when it comes to crime,
Trump’ll fix it in no time —
He’ll eradicate it in one “rough, nasty and violent” day.
An Embarrassing Endorsement
When your endorsee becomes an embarrassment,
It can reflect poorly on your judgement.
You can try to un-endorse,
But frankly, that look is worse,
So sorry, you can’t really take back an endorsement.
Hillbillies Are from Appalachia, So …
That asshat liar JD Vance never ceases to amaze ya,
But he seems to have caught some of Trump’s aphasia.
While doubling down
On his lies about Springfield town,
He said cat-eating immigrants are from a place called “Haitia.”
