When you call up the Rooskies to negotiate sanctions,
You can be pretty sure several spooks are a-listenin’.
But when Mike Flynn briefed Mike Pence,
He lied to him, and hence
Lost his job over the euphemism, “incomplete information.”
The hit on the rich will be nominal,
The effects on the lower brackets, abominable.
With a guy from Goldman Sachs
Rejiggering the income tax,
It’s no wonder Trump says it’ll be “phenomenal.”
Donald Trump doesn’t spend his nights carousing,
But lately, about his home he’s been grousing.
Despite that it’s a mansion,
Trump can’t get past the notion
That he’s living in “government housing.”
In Trumplandia they don’t tolerate opposing views,
And if you point out their lies, they make no excuse.
But if you’re checking facts,
They call it “attacks,”
And they just keep on saying you report “fake news.”
He might be our so-called president,
And he might be the White House’s sole resident,
But when Trump goes to London,
Because of his “racism and sexism,”
He won’t be allowed to address Parliament.
The 155th Congress has passed its first substantive bill,
And it sought to redress an onerous regulatory ill.
Did it bolster Medicaid?
Did it increase foreign aid?
Not hardly — it expanded gun rights for the mentally ill.
“Go nuclear!” said the Trump to McConnell,
If his SCOTUS choice the Democrats do throttle.
With bravado and bluster —
Poof! No more filibuster!
Let’s just hope Trump doesn’t lead by example.
Since Ike, every president’s had a National Prayer Breakfast,
But to date only one’s talked about “Celebrity Apprentice.”
Trump’s lamentations on its ratings
Were especially grating,
But his prayer for Schwarzennegger was just the tackiest.
Melania Trump ain’t been seen since the inaugural,
And her early absence from Trump’s side augurs ill.
Trump knows he’s uncouth
And we suspect he suspects, forsooth,
That Melania just ain’t First Lady material.
Pundits say that Trump’s $5,000 midterm bribe was an overreach,
And they agree that if lies were a crime, he’d be impeached.
Despite all the dividend promises he’s made,
The fact is, not one has ever been paid,
So even before the midterms, he already owes us $8,000* each.
*$5000 stimulus checks via “DOGE dividend”; $2000 stimulus checks via a “tariff dividend”; $1000-plus checks via “savings” from expiring Affordable Care Act subsidies
