Since Ike, every president’s had a National Prayer Breakfast,
But to date only one’s talked about “Celebrity Apprentice.”
Trump’s lamentations on its ratings
Were especially grating,
But his prayer for Schwarzennegger was just the tackiest.
Arnold Schwarzennegger’s not known for his artifice,
Though the guy did hold California’s highest office.
But in disagreeing with Donald,
One wonders if Arnold
Realizes he could get terminated from “Celebrity Apprentice.”
It’s crazy. It’s crazy and it makes us look stupid when the White House is ill-prepared to put this kind of executive order out there.
— Arnold Schwarzenegger, in an interview with Extra, on President Trump’s executive order barring citizens from seven Muslim-majority countries from entering the United States.
In the relaunch of the The New Republic, David Dayen describes the four-year strategy California Democrats deployed to balance the budget and put the state back on the path to prosperity: […]
Number of copies sold in first week of memoir by disgraced former California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger, despite aggressive promotional campaign that included a “60 Minutes” interview in which Schwarzenegger admitted to all his extramarital affairs that have been made public so far.
If there is a bigger douche than Arnold Schwarzenegger in American politics, I can’t imagine who it might be. (Newt Gingrich, possibly.) Now, nearly two years after leaving office in political disgrace and then copping to the fact that he had an child with his family’s housekeeper, the former governor of California has embarked on a desperate quest to to rewrite history and rehabilitate his image.
He has purchased an academic institute at the University of Southern California and now has released a memoir which is ironically titled “Total Recall: My Unbelievably True Life Story.”
To promote his historical revisionism, Schwarzenegger appeared on CBS “60 Minutes” and admitted the extramarital affairs he’s had that the public already knows about:
It appears that there are indeed more shoes ready to drop in the Arnold Schwarzenegger sex scandal saga. The National Enquirer is reporting that, as governor, Schwarzenegger used his California Highway Patrol security detail to coordinate his assignations with young women in a Sacramento hotel, according to the MailOnline in London:
Arnold Schwarzenegger used state-funded security measures to cover up his many sexual liaisons behind his wife’s back, according to his former security supervisor.
The explosive new claims have triggered a criminal investigation into whether or not the former California governor used tax payers’ dollars to cover up his extra-marital affairs, reports have claimed…
Veteran law enforcement officer William Taylor made the explosive claims exclusively to the National Enquirer and even passed a polygraph test.
Every town has its secrets. The difference in Los Angeles is that some of the secrets here relate to world-famous celebrities. It’s fair to say that hardly anyone in town knew that Arnold Schwarzenegger had fathered a child with a member of his household staff. But it’s equally true that there are other rumors — what Donald Rumsfeld might call “known unknowns” — that have been floating around years, decades even, that could come to light, if the scandal escalates, which, based on the volume of news reports in both legit and gossip outlets, appears to be what is happening.
Just in the past few days, the baby mama has been identified as Patty Baena, the Schwarzeneggers’ housekeeper for 20 years. Local news in Los Angeles found the McMansion Schwarzenegger bought her in Bakersfield, and neighbor interviewed by local reporters praised the son as being extremely well-mannered.
Maria Shriver has hired a divorce attorney, although sources say Shriver, who is Catholic, has not yet decided whether to proceed with divorce, which is astounding, if true. Meanwhile, her son, Patrick Schwarzenegger, 17, changed his last name to Shriver on his Twitter account.
And this one had to hurt: TMZ reports that Maria Shriver and Patty Baena were pregnant at the same time. Maria’s son Christopher was born on Sept. 27, 1997 and Baena’s son was born five days later, on Oct. 2, 1997.
The Schwarzenegger household’s in a mess
After Arnold’s dalliance with a parlor maid or governess.
His inability to modulate
His fervent need to copulate
Has brought him to a new level of classlessness.
Arnold Swarzenegger has achieved fame and wealth,
And he’s pulling his acting career off the shelf.
For his marriage, it’s curtains,
But one thing’s for certain —
That Maria Shriver sure is a MILF!
To hear Trump talk, he’s the only one
Who’s ever stood trial for crimes he’s done.
But instead of courtroom drama,
We get Trump in his pajamas,
That’s how he earned his new nickname: Don Snoreleone.
“This week has been a howling vortex of suck for the MAGA movement and Donald Trump. Imagine a black hole in the profound interstellar vacuum in the cold emptiness of space, drawing all matter and energy into its brutal singularity, an ineluctable and final journey into nothingness. … That’s the GOP this week. It’s been bad and will get worse.”
“I am not resigning. And it is, in my view, an absurd notion that someone would bring a vacate motion when we are simply here trying to do our jobs. It is not helpful to the cause, it is not helpful to the country, it does not help the House Republicans advance our agenda, which is in the best interest of the American people here — a secure border, sound governance – and it’s not helpful to the unity that we have in the body.”
— Speaker of the House Mike Johnson (R-LA) on the “resign or be fired” ultimatum from the GOP’s Freedom Caucus just 174 days into his tenure as sp[eaker, reported by Punchbowl News.
“Trump’s head slowly dropped, his eyes closed. It jerked back upward. He adjusts himself. Then, his head droops again. He straightens up, leaning back. His head droops for a third time, he shakes his shoulders. Eyes closed still. His head drops. Finally, he pops his eyes open.”
— Law360 reports from the second day of Donald Trump’s “hush money” criminal trial.
“Functionally, Chris Sununu is as active a part of Trump’s campaign as Matt Gaetz or MTG, or any of the other MAGA freaks. And it seems not to bother him that these people would poleaxe him if given a second’s chance. It seems not to bother him that his political career is over. He’s not just willing to exit public life on his knees—he’s eager to do it. … In the end, it doesn’t matter if Sununu is a mountebank, a coward, or a fool. Those three characters are equally pernicious. … What matters is that the rest of us understand that it is the Chris Sununus of the world who make this ongoing authoritarian attempt possible.”
“He’s f**king crazy! The press often will ask me if I think Donald Trump is crazy. And I’ll say it this way: I don’t think he’s so crazy that you could put him in a mental institution. But I think if he were in one, he ain’t getting out!”
— New Hampshire Gov. Chris Sununu (R), quoted by the Associated Press two years ago. Sununu is now backing Trump for president.
Punchbowl News: The DCCC [Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee] raised $45.4 million in the first quarter of 2024, outpacing the NRCC [National Republican Congressional Committee] by $12 million. That’s the DCCC’s best quarter of the 2024 cycle and includes a $21.4 million March haul. This is a massive show of force for House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries.The DCCC has $71.1 million on hand. Compare that to the NRCC, which has $45.2 million on hand.
A new Harvard Institute of Politics poll of voters under age 30 finds Joe Biden leading Donald Trump 56% to 37% among likely voters. Pollster John Della Volpe: “For a Democrat to comfortably win the Electoral College, he or she needs to win 60 percent of the youth vote. Biden and Obama, ’12 and ’20, won 60 percent. Obama got 66 percent in ’08. John Kerry and Hillary Clinton got 55 percent. Biden is in the mid-50s. Can you improve that to get to 60 percent? It’s within reach.“
Financial Times: “In another troubling sign for Republican fundraising efforts, Trump has 270,000 fewer unique donors than he did at the same stage of his 2020 White House run. His campaign and affiliated political action committees got money from 900,000 donors from July 2023 to the end of the first quarter of 2024, down from 1.17 million four years earlier.”
New York Times: “Of the 96 possible jurors brought into the room, more than 50 raised their hands to say they couldn’t be fair. They were immediately excused.”
“Nationwide, homicides dropped around 20% in 133 cities from the beginning of the year through the end of March compared with the same period in 2023. … Homicides in American cities are falling at the fastest pace in decades, bringing them close to levels they were at before a pandemic-era jump,” the Wall Street Journal reports.