Stone Scheme Blown
Roger Stone is well known for talking slop,
But this time he really went over the top.
Hey Rog, if you’re planning to kill
Democratic reps for a thrill,
Maybe next time don’t tell a New York City cop.
Category: Poetic Justice
Defamed Dames Do It Again
“Justice, at last,” sighed a weary, grateful nation.
“Rudi’s been convicted of malicious prevarication.”
But when the verdict was read,
Rudi said, “I meant what I said.”
So the sistahs slapped his ass with a second defamation.
Inevitability of Deporability
Trump’s dictator dreams are no longer ignorable,
Though his fascist uniform designs are adorable.
On Day One, he’ll pounce,
And he’s already announced
His rogue’s gallery cabinet of deplorables.
Vacuous Vote to Vacate Specious Speaker
Republican lawmakers are so performative, they’re artsy,
But as for governing, they’re not much of a party.
Though they’re ignoble and sophomoric,
They occasionally do the historic —
Like the firing of a House Speaker — lying Kevin McCarthy.
Perils of Bipartisanship
Matt Gaetz is just a shutdown-promoting asshat
Who wants to oust McCarthy if he works with Democrats.
But he needs the cooperation
Of the Democrat delegation,
So what do they do to Gaetz if HE works with Democrats?
Third-Rate Debaters
The second GOP debate proved the wannabes are just mean,
And their would-be one-liners were just the stuff of memes.
If their disputational performance
Is indicative of their governance,
They would all be kicked off the middle school debate team.
A Clown and a Shutdown
Kevin McCarthy is a sad spineless clown,
Who’s letting the wingnuts kick him around.
The House right-wingers
Are just performative whingers
Who’re pushing the country toward a government shutdown.
Rapping Sap Slapped
Vivek Ramaswamy is a smarmy little sap.
He’s got a smirky face you just want to slap.
But performing as “Da Vek” he
Went and pissed off Slim Shady —
And Eminem said cease and desist hustling my rap.
The Not-Great Debate
It’s the night of the Republican primary debate,
And it’s likely to decide some candidates’ fate.
We’ll miss that big orange fucker
Who’ll be Twitter-chatting with Tucker,
So, as must-see TV it’ll probably just be … third-rate.
