Like everything, Donald Trump has cheapened the Presidential Medal of Freedom.
He bestows them on creeps and clowns willy-nilly, as if they were presidential pardons.
You don’t have to be brave or heroic,
Or particularly steadfast or stoic,
To earn what we’re now calling the Trump Presidential Medal of Sheep Dung.
About the “highest and best use of the military” there’s some confusion.
In olden times, we’d save ’em for forever wars and the occasional invasion.
But JD Vance doesn’t give a shit
If some Venezuelan civilians get hit,
‘Cause his “highest and best” military use is extraterritorial assassination.
American business and higher ed cross Donald Trump at their peril.
Crawl if they must — it’s capitulation or bust — or Trump goes feral.
But those are just soulless corporations,
Not beloved bastions of American traditions,
So, in this one case, thanks for bending the knee, Cracker Barrel.
Maryland Governor Wes Moore can sure talk the talk,
But his invite to Donald Trump made the old man balk.
You’d think Moore had committed sacrilege
The way Trump threatened to defund his bridge,
But Moore just invited Trump to take a public safety walk.
Vance, Hegseth and Miller checked to make sure D.C.’s takeover was on track.
They met protesters, so the Three Horse’s Asses of the Apocalypse attacked.
They called protesters “stupid white hippies” and “communists”
Who advocate for the “the criminals, the killers, the rapists.”
Tough talk from tough guys with National Guard backup at the Shake Shack.
NASA’s Sean Duffy wants a lunar nuclear reactor — and soon!
We’ve perfected the tech on earth, so the timing’s opportune!
Just like Elon Musk’s electric cars,
We’ll need electricity to get to Mars,
And an extension cord that reaches from there to the Moon.
Trump’s war on information has become a problem for our nation.
He fires the data makers, replacing their product with confabulation.
But Wall Street runs on government data sets,
And without it, they’re just blindly placing bets,
So now we all must (like Trump) rely on guesses, gut-checks and divination.
We know Donald Trump plays fast and loose with the facts,
But it seems he’s added “fantastical figures” to his lying act.
He’s going to lower drug prices by 1,500 percent,
Which means we’ll get paid to take free medicaments.
Trump’s concept of pricing and percentages is — to be kind — “inexact.”
Trump and the Iranians seem to be in different realities,
Though they share a callousness toward the war’s casualties.
Is Trump insane
Or just insanely vain?
And how can we extract ourselves from his “Quagmire of the Vanities?”
The media’s reporting on the Alaska summit left the wrong impression.