Like everything, Donald Trump has cheapened the Presidential Medal of Freedom.
He bestows them on creeps and clowns willy-nilly, as if they were presidential pardons.
You don’t have to be brave or heroic,
Or particularly steadfast or stoic,
To earn what we’re now calling the Trump Presidential Medal of Sheep Dung.
“Justice, at last,” sighed a weary, grateful nation.
“Rudi’s been convicted of malicious prevarication.”
But when the verdict was read,
Rudi said, “I meant what I said.”
So the sistahs slapped his ass with a second defamation.
He once was THE guy to schmooze,
Back before the Trump election ruse.
“America’s Mayor” after 9/11 —
He was in reputation heaven,
But now Rudi Giuliani’s been banned from Fox News.
For Rudi, losing election challenges is no longer fun,
And his legal career, such as it was, is just about done.
But one wonders what crimes
He’s committed over time
That would lead him to ask Trump for a pre-emptive pardon.
The ranks of prospective ICE agents are swiftly thinning,
With drug addicts, criminals and slobs those ranks are brimming.
Over a third can’t pass the physical test,
And the rest are, simply, not the best —
They cleave to the notion that black Kevlar riot gear is slimming.
