I’d fire the lot of ’em if I were their boss,
But maybe the Russian border is more confusing than most.
Why else would Putin explain
The incursion in Ukraine,
By saying, “A thousand Russian troops and tanks kind of … got lost.”
Vladimir Putin’s drive to recreate the USSR ain’t over yet.
To those who say get out of Ukraine, he says “Nyet!”
But if you think that’s bad,
Keep an eye on sly Vlad —
Word is, he also wants to break up the Internet.
Ukrainian rioters woke up the sleeping bear, it’s true,
So Putin invades Crimea and whatever else he wants to do.
But Obama’s moving slow,
Taught by “The Big Lebowski,” he knows:
“Some days you et the bar and some days the bar ets you.”
Pussy Riot’s not one of my favorite musical acts,
But I’m not sure they deserve such violent attacks.
Only in Russia could they have perfected
Such an esoteric corrective —
Being beaten with horsewhips … by Cossacks.
Looks like Moscow’s up to its old tricks again,
Trying to split the U.S. and Europe over Ukraine.
Somehow they recorded it,
And Nuland really said it.
We heard her say, “F**k the E.U.” clear and plain.
The Sochi Olympics are almost here,
But if you go, you’d better not act queer.
Seems that the Russians
Are serious about gay-bashin’
‘Cause their homophobia starts with Comrade Vladimir.
I’m not sure I can swallow the assertion that Barack Obama is the shrewdest political tactician since LBJ, but David Corn does make a compelling case, and I really do want to believe that all this time Obama knew exactly what he was doing on Syria, Putin and the debt showdown.
I suppose he’s just being Lincoln-esque. Again …
Do you buy the pitch?
To hear Trump talk, he’s the only one
Who’s ever stood trial for crimes he’s done.
But instead of courtroom drama,
We get Trump in his pajamas,
That’s how he earned his new nickname: Don Snoreleone.
