The Enemy Within HIM
Trump’s latest bogeyman is “the enemy within,”
Which will be unleashed, he says, if he doesn’t win.
He says the election’s rigged,
But we think he’s flipped his wig,
And the real enemy within is him! It’s HIM!
Category: PJDTII
Hillbillies Are from Appalachia, So …
That asshat liar JD Vance never ceases to amaze ya,
But he seems to have caught some of Trump’s aphasia.
While doubling down
On his lies about Springfield town,
He said cat-eating immigrants are from a place called “Haitia.”
Vance’s Pants Is On Fire!
JD Vance likes to tell those “useful lies,”
The ones guaranteed to draw the media’s eyes.
His whoppers about cat-eating Haitians
He peddled to a disbelieving nation,
Kind of like “Hillbilly Elegy,” the memoir he fictionalized.
Fifth-Hole Bogey
Ryan Routh won’t get the thanks of half of a grateful nation,
After not wasting even one round of ammunition.
Would-be killers like Thomas Crooks and Routh
Just aren’t in the league of Oswald and Booth,
They just seem determined to be the “ass” in “assassination.”
Don’s Done Debatin’
To do it again would be tempting fate,
And his performance still wouldn’t be great.
Trump insists he won,
But now says just one and done.
So there ain’t gonna be another Trump-Harris debate.
The Whimsy That’s Lindsey
Sometimes, being Lindsey Graham really stinks,
On top of the elbow pokes and knowing winks.
He’s got the spine of an eggplant
And the heart of a syncophant,
But now even Donald Trump doesn’t care what Lindsey thinks.
Secretary of Losing
With his presidential campaign on all but life support,
RFK Jr. is lobbying for a cabinet post, according to reports.
He’s approached the Trump campaign,
And with Harris, sought the same,
But so far, no one has promised him Secretary of Dead Bear Transport.
One Lame Campaign
It’s pretty widely agreed: Trump’s campaign is a hot mess,
No one asserts anymore he’s playing thee-dimensional chess.
It’s a funny kind of campaign,
Based on lies, invective and blame,
And featuring press conferences at his golf courses — without the press.
Yale Drag Fail
As a teen, JD questioned, which doesn’t make him a fag.
While at Yale, he dressed like a girl (we assume) as a gag.
The eyeliner was smokey,
But the blonde wig was hokey,
And Trump’s VP looked like a childless cat lady in drag.
