Month: April 2026
Fired Bondi Must Still Testify to Congress
“She will not escape accountability and remains legally obligated to appear before our Committee under oath. She must answer for her mishandling of the Epstein files and the special treatment she has given Ghislaine Maxwell… If they think we are moving on because they were fired, they are gravely mistaken.”
— Rep. Robert Garcia (D-CA), quoted by Politico, on Attorney General Pam Bondi’s firing.
Plight of the Plankton
Global warming is changing phytoplankton, and scientists say it’s not good.
Plankton are the food chain’s staple throughout the whole ocean neighborhood.
But they’re losing proteins and nutrients,
Replaced by lipids and carbohydrates.
Just don’t tell Robert Kennedy Jr. we’re turning phytoplankton into junk fish food.
Bye Bye Bondi
There once was an attorney general named Pamela Jo Bondi,
Who Trump sacked today, while speaking of her fondly.
She was soaked in incompetence,
And steeped in belligerence,
So will she be missed at the Department of Justice? Not hardly.
Tillis Firm on NATO
“Any president that contemplates attempting to withdraw from NATO is not only fulfilling Vladimir Putin and Xi Jinping’s greatest dreams but would be undermining America’s own national security interests.”
— Sen. Thom Tillis (R-NC), quoted by The Guardian.
The Noems at Cosplay
Bryon Noem — Kristi’s hubby — always seemed so butch and manly,
But his secret fetish could have spelled trouble for ICE Barbie.
The former DHS head was surprised
When this truth she finally realized:
The penchant for cosplay runs wide and deep in the Noem family.
Oil Price Rises 60% in March
60%
Financial Times: “Oil prices posted the biggest rise in decades this month as the war in Iran chokes global energy supplies and sends shockwaves across major financial markets and economies. … “Brent crude, the international benchmark, settled at $118.35 on Tuesday, close to its highest level since the start of the conflict in the Middle East, as traders fearing a prolonged shutdown of the Strait of Hormuz rushed to secure cargoes. … The price has risen more than 60 percent in March, eclipsing the previous record gain of 46 percent following Iraq’s invasion of Kuwait in 1990.”
Fewer Cop to Being Republicans
39%
Gallup finds the share of Americans saying they are Republicans or Republican-leaning independents in the first quarter of 2026, 39%, is at a low dating back to 2015. At the same time, the share of Americans saying they are either Democrats or Democratic-leaning independents has reached 49%, matching highs from the end of 2020 and beginning of 2021.
Squeezing a Lemon
There was a gay, black journo named Don Lemon,
Who stopped in Minneapolis to ask questions.
But ICE got to arresting
And now Trump’s lawyers are testing
The use of the civil rights FACE Act to convict ‘im.
