Bryon Noem — Kristi’s hubby — always seemed so butch and manly,
But his secret fetish could have spelled trouble for ICE Barbie.
The former DHS head was surprised
When this truth she finally realized:
The penchant for cosplay runs wide and deep in the Noem family.
As each Trump Cabinet of Deplorables member knows,
It’s not how well you do, but how low you’ll go.
ICE Barbie Kristi Noem wants desperate immigrants
To become desperate game-show contestants
Starring in an ICE-sponsored citizenship reality-TV show.
Secretary of Homeland Security Kristi Noem is tawdry and blowzy,
She treats her cabinet post less like a job and more like a hobby.
She likes to play dress-up
In all manner of getups,
Which has earned her the apt and fitting nickname, “ICE Barbie.”
From Trump’s “stolen election” lies, we can’t get no relief,
He carps on about stolen votes, but he never names the thief.
Somebody needs to tell this guy
Americans aren’t buying his lies,
And that he’s turned us into the United States of Disbelief.
