Year: 2006

At Least It’s Not Abramoffgate

Trish

Along with ridding Washington of Tom DeLay, the Abramoff scandal might have another positive effect: finally retiring the cliché, haggard, overused “gate” nomenclature. As columnist Cynthia Tucker points out, Abramoff is in a class by himself.

…the level of hypocrisy exposed by the Abramoff scandal is hall of fame stuff – the sort of outsized arrogance and disregard for law and decency that make it a benchmark against which other scandals will be measured for decades to come.

Wouldn’t that be great if it were? We’d finally be able to move out of the ‘70s and into the 21st century with something not gate-related.

So the question is, what will replace it? The Abramoff Effect, to describe the stigma associated with accepting his cash? DeLayism, to describe the willingness to sell legislation to the highest bidder? Jacking Off, to describe accepting clients with inherent conflicts of interest and playing one against the other? Time will tell.

Pensito Review: Off the Wires

Buck Banks

Canada Reports Positive Test for Mad Cow
TORONTO – A cow from an Alberta farm has tested positive for mad cow disease, officials said Monday. For those of you in Quebec: Une vache d’une ferme d’Alberta a examiné le positif pour la maladie folle de vache.

Iran Threatens Full Uranium Enrichment
VIENNA, Austria – Iran will immediately retaliate if referred to the U.N. Security Council next week by developing a full-scale uranium enrichment program. Let’s get this straight — we suspect the Iranians are developing a uranium enrichment program, so we’re considering referring them to the U.N., but if we do, they say they’ll develop a uranium enrichment program. Sounds like someone’s going to end up with a uranium enrichment program.

Russia Accuses British Diplomats of Spying
MOSCOW – Russia’s main intelligence agency said it had uncovered spying by four British diplomats — using electronic equipment inside a fake rock — and accused them of channeling funds to non-governmental organizations including one of the country’s best-known human rights watchdogs. Ah, the old fake rock trick. Can you blame the Russians for being pissed? Funding human-rights watchdogs is really sneaky.

Polls Open in Canada
OTTAWA – Canadians will determine Monday whether to send their Liberal Party packing after 13 years and give the Conservatives a shot. This, we believe, is the Canadian test for mad cow disease. Results tomorrow.

U.S. Navy Seizes Pirate Ship Off Somalia
DUBAI, United Arab Emirates – The U.S. Navy boarded an apparent pirate ship in the Indian Ocean and detained 26 men for questioning, the Navy said Sunday. Ten were forced to walk the plank, nine were keelhauled and seven hung from the yardarms. Arrrgh!

Bolivia’s 1st Indian President Inaugurated
LA PAZ, Bolivia – Leftist coca grower Evo Morales, a fierce critic of U.S. policies, was inaugurated Sunday as the nation’s first Indian president. Reports from La Paz say the coke-fueled inaugural disco rave is still going on.

Law Prof: Unwarranted Surveillance Impeachable

Buck Banks

Ramping up the response: Legal experts, privacy advocates and Democratic lawmakers are calling for investigations into whether the Bush administration broke the law when it authorized a secret program to eavesdrop on U.S. citizens without a court order.

According to GovExec.com, on Friday, seven Democrat representatives held an unofficial hearing to examine revelations that Bush ordered the National Security Agency to conduct warrantless wiretaps.

“I want to be absolutely clear, what the president ordered in this case was a crime,” said Jonathan Turley, a law professor at George Washington University.

He added that he believes Bush’s order is an impeachable offense. “This type of violation should be a textbook example of an impeachment issue, because not only is it a federal crime but it violates the doctrine of separation of power,” he said.

Rep. John Conyers, D-Mich., ranking member of the House Judiciary Committee, said he sent a letter Friday to telephone and Internet providers, asking how and when they turned over customer content and records to the government.

Attorney General Alberto Gonzales on Thursday sent a 42-page letter to Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist, R-Tenn., outlining the administration’s defense of the program.

“The NSA activities are supported by the president’s well-recognized inherent constitutional authority as commander in chief and sole organ for the nation in foreign affairs to conduct warrantless surveillance of enemy forces for intelligence purposes to detect and disrupt armed attacks on the United States,” Gonzales wrote.

He argued that Congress gave Bush the power to conduct warrantless electronic surveillance through the Authorization for Use of Military Force, which was enacted one week after the Sept. 11, 2001, attacks.

Critics of the program contend that Bush should have followed the 1978 Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act, which requires the issuance of a warrant by a secret court before electronic surveillance can be conducted.

Florida Repugs Sic Goons on Reporters During Jeb Speech

Trish

Florida Governor Jeb Bush is learning from his big brother. “If you have anything to say,” W. must have told him, “never say it in front of unbiased people. Make sure they’re all on your side first.”

Reporter: “How ludicrous was it? Picture this: Before Jeb spoke, half a dozen young men in dark suits frantically looking through the ballroom, as if Osama himself might be lurking…”

St. Petersburg Times:

The Florida Republican Party on Saturday called security to eject reporters listening to Gov. Jeb Bush tout his party’s accomplishments in Tallahassee.

The unusual scene – five hotel security staffers and a sheriff’s deputy escorting reporters away from where they could hear the governor – occurred in the middle of a speech in which Bush exhorted party activists to spread the word of Republican successes in Florida.

“I apologize for that if I’m indirectly responsible, which I’m not,” Bush said after addressing Republican activists gathered at Disney for a party meeting…

Way to accept responsibility like a grown-up, Jeb.

Eyewitness reporter Adam Smith had more to say about the event on his blog.

How ludicrous was it? Picture this: Before Jeb spoke, half a dozen young men in dark suits frantically looking through the ballroom, as if Osama himself might be lurking: “Find Bill Cotterell! Has anyone seen Bill Cotterell?! He could still be in there!”

Or this: An overwrought reporter (yours truly) accosting legislators in the hall, demanding they explain why their party would bar the press from hearing the governor. “No comment. I have no comment on that,” poor Sen. Durrell Peadon said, looking like he could have been leaving a grand jury proceeding.

The Lake Buena Vista Four included Windy March of the [Tampa] Tribune, the [Tallahassee] Democrat’s Cotterell, Jeremy Wallace of the [Southwest Florida] Herald-Tribune, and your Buzz correspondent.

Six Things to Know about Rep. Bob Ney

Jon Ponder

The Los Angeles Times has a profile up of Rep. Bob Ney, the Republican Congressman who allegedly traded trips and other benefits from disgraced Republican lobbyist Jack Abramoff in return for help with legislation. Here are six things about Bob Ney to know and learn:

  • Ney is the first member of Congress accused of directly trading gifts for legislative favors with Abramoff. “He is identified simply as “Representative #1″ in a Jan. 3 plea agreement between Abramoff and federal prosecutors.”
  • In his position as chairman of the Administration Committee, which controls congressional office budgets, he was known as the “mayor of Capitol Hill” — until he was forced to resign last week.
  • A former Ohio legislator, two of Ney’s former legislative aides in Ohio became lobbyists and went to jail for bribery after Ney went to Washington.
  • He is known as “Bobby.”
  • He taught English in Iran before the Revolution, and is the only member of Congress who speaks Farsi.
  • He is the idiot who forced the Capitol’s food service to change the name of French fries to “freedom fries” during the run-up to the war in Iraq — a high point in Republican low culture.

McCain: Bush Has No Legal Authority for Warrantless Wiretaps

Jon Ponder

From Fox News Sunday via Think Progress:

[CHRIS] WALLACE: But you do not believe that currently he has the legal authority to engage in these warrant-less wiretaps.

[SEN. JOHN] MCCAIN: You know, I don’t think so, but why not come to Congress? We can sort this all out. I don’t think — I know of no member of Congress, frankly, who, if the administration came and said here’s why we need this capability, that they wouldn’t get it. And so let’s have the hearings.

Glenn Beck Said He ‘Hates’ 9/11 Families

Jon Ponder

Last September, CNN’s newest star performer, rightwing talker Glenn Beck, told his listeners that he felt animostiy for the families of victims of the Sept. 11, 2001, terror attacks. From Media Matters:

[You] know it took me about a year to start hating the 9-11 victims’ families? Took me about a year. And I had such compassion for them, and I really wanted to help them, and I was behind, you know, “Let’s give them money, let’s get this started.” All of this stuff. And I really didn’t — of the 3,000 victims’ families, I don’t hate all of them. Probably about 10 of them. And when I see a 9-11 victim family on television, or whatever, I’m just like, “Oh shut up!” I’m so sick of them because they’re always complaining. And we did our best for them.

‘Haunted’ by ‘Brokeback,’ Schwarzenegger ‘Regrets’ Gay Marriage Veto

Jon Ponder

A news fantasy: Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger suggested that he might reconsider legalizing gay marriage, if he had assurance that gay Californians would vote for him in his reelection bid this year.

Asked what triggered his change of heart, the governor said, “I saw ‘Brokeback Mountain.’ It haunted me for days.”

The topic of gay marriage came up during a brief question-and-answer session with reporters Friday. Asked for his reaction to news earlier in the day that a Maryland judge had declared her state’s ban on gay marriage unconstitutional, the governor said he agreed with the decision — and added that he has now come to “regret” his veto of the California gay marriage law last year.

“At the time, I thought it was better for my political career to veto it,” Schwarzenegger said. “I regret that now because I could use every vote I can get. If the legislature sends me the bill again, I definitely would sign if if I thought gays would give me their vote. A lot of gay men worship my body. I want to be the governor for all the people.”

Asked what triggered his re-thinking, the governor said, “I saw ‘Brokeback Mountain.’ It haunted me for days.”

Washington Post Turns Off Its Blog Comments

Buck Banks

WaPo snafu: The Washington Post today turned off the comments function of its Weblog at www.washingtonpost.com because people just wouldn’t follow the rules:

… there are things that we said we would not allow, including personal attacks, the use of profanity and hate speech. Because a significant number of folks who have posted in this blog have refused to follow any of those relatively simple rules, we’ve decided not to allow comments for the time being. It’s a shame that it’s come to this. Transparency and reasoned debate are crucial parts of the Web culture, and it’s a disappointment to us that we have not been able to maintain a civil conversation, especially about issues that people feel strongly (and differently) about.

So a few bad apples spoiled it for everybody. Now, if you have a comment on a washingtonpost.com post, you’ll have to keep it to yourself because someone used profanity in a comment.

Come on, give me a break, Posties. What level of discourse did you expect? The Harvard Debate Club?

We here at Pensito Review understand the WaPo editors’ frustration because we get a lot of comments on our posts, too. Well, not a lot, really, but some high-quality ones. Well, not that high-quality. Actually, some of them are nasty and hurtful and sprinkled with surprising examples of profanity that we have added to our personal arsenals.

You may not know this, but there are wingnut nutjobs out there with nothing better to do than go around to thoughtful, intelligent, well-designed and left-leaning Web sites like this one and squeeze the boils they have for brains into comments on multiple stories. They are rightly called trolls. But do we take off their comments? Nope. We let other readers respond with their own comments, often creating lively and pyrotechnic strings of comments.

We do, however, remove comments with death threats and refer them immediately to the FBI.

At Pensito Review, we would never turn off comments, mainly because the comments our readers leave often are funny, clever, thoughtful, insightful and make us feel like superior spellers and grammarians. We believe in freedom and free speech, and if you want to show your ass by leaving a ranting, rambling, obscenity-laced blurt of brain pus, why, that’s OK with us. Heck, we do it ourselves sometimes. Well, there was that one time on washingtonpost.com, anyway.