Speaker Mike Johnson is an odious, Bible-thumping little twit,
Between Trump’s ire and contentious colleagues, he’s in a snit.
With nothing happening in the House,
One might expect the speaker to grouse,
And for once we agree — like Mike said: “I’m sick of this shit.”
Trump and the Iranians seem to be in different realities,
Though they share a callousness toward the war’s casualties.
Is Trump insane
Or just insanely vain?
And how can we extract ourselves from his “Quagmire of the Vanities?”
H/T to Taegan Goddard
A new round of Trumpian tariffs are making the news,
And Republicans are singing those “lost Midterm Blues.”
Gas prices are high and affordability’s low,
And there’s something both parties want to know:
Is Trump deliberately trying to make the GOP lose?
With Burmese pythons the Florida Everglades are overrun,
We’re killing some, but what do you do with a dead one?
Well, a guy in Fort Myers takes the dead snakes
And using every part of them, products he makes,
So he’ll trade you a free “specialty” pizza for a dead python.
The Freedom Gas Network mystery has been solved,
Almost overnight in PA and NJ the stations evolved.
So, we wonder, how do they keep
Gas prices so relatively cheap?
Some think that 200,000 gallons of stolen fuel is involved.
Pundits say that Trump’s $5,000 midterm bribe was an overreach,
And they agree that if lies were a crime, he’d be impeached.
Despite all the dividend promises he’s made,
The fact is, not one has ever been paid,
So even before the midterms, he already owes us $8,000* each.
*$5000 stimulus checks via “DOGE dividend”; $2000 stimulus checks via a “tariff dividend”; $1000-plus checks via “savings” from expiring Affordable Care Act subsidies
