Republicans hate environmental regulation, and have for years,
They’ve removed clean air and water laws, bringing tree huggers to tears.
But this latest move
Proves they have no love
For beleaguered sea mammals like whales, seals, dolphins and polar bears.
In Moscow it’s generally known
Vlad Putin’s an evil little gnome.
Oligarchs in the know
Keep away from windows
To avoid catching Russian Sudden Death Syndrome.
He pleaded not guilty to two Trumped-up charges, did James Comey,
Who, though he harpooned Hillary Clinton’s campaign, is no Trump homey.
So it falls to poor Lindsey Halligan
To return to the empty legal well again,
Because these charges against James Comey are just baloney.
No one would accuse rioter Jacob Chansley of being a polymath,
But on January 6, the “QAnon Shaman” was clearly on the war path.
Now his $40 trillion Trump suit
Will surely get the judicial boot,
Because it’s 26 pages long and written in a single paragraph.
It was deleted from Trump’s Truth Social before it was widely read.
It was an AI deepfake with an AI Donald Trump as a talking head
Pitching us a kooky QAnon conspiracy
Mashed up with pseudoscientific technology,
With huckster Trump promising we’ll each get a card for our own miracle MedBed.
On what is Doctor Trump’s medical advice predicated?
His guidance on Tylenol seems definitely addlepated.
He allegedly told us to inject bleach
When COVID vaccines were within reach,
Perhaps the president is just a little over-chlorinated?
Trump’s DOJ says the Homan bribe charge just wasn’t real.
Homan didn’t sell a contract, so no bribe — just a steal.
Kash and Pam shared a Holmes-like hunch
The G-Men were just delivering Homan’s lunch.
And anyway, the bag (like the Epstein papers) is now under lock and seal.
When Trump promised retribution, he wasn’t playing games,
On Saturday he gave Pam Bondi a target list of names.
When a madman gets elected,
No one is protected,
But especially if your name is Comey, Schiff or James.
The attacks on free expression are getting pretty scary,
Before you speak your mind these days you must be wary.
Standing up for the truth is a heavy load,
And defending your beliefs is a rocky road,
That has led us to this: Ben & Jerry’s Ice Cream without Jerry.
For setting Floridians free, Governor Ron DeSantis makes no apologies,
But his ability to sense wokeness is something out of horror movies.
Ron always seems a little too intense,
Like that spooky kid from “The Sixth Sense” —
Because everywhere he looks, he sees … woke ideologies.
Don Jr. and Bettina are finding out marriage ain’t a walk in the park,
Not even when your daddy is a self-proclaimed genius and wannabe monarch.
It began with a small private wedding ceremony,
But the after-parties were where it really got tony,
With fireworks and a private Bahamian island, paid for by a Russian oligarch.
