It was a lawsuit about deceit, artificial intelligence and market manipulation,
As the courtroom drama between Musk and Altman gripped a war-weary nation.
In the end the jury found there was no crime,
Just Elon Musk’s ketamine-addled sense of time.
What did him in wasn’t a lofty principle, it was a three-year statute of limitations.
For once, Trump staged an event that didn’t seem to be too grifty,
It was a taxpayer-funded religious event called Rededicate 250.
Trump sent a tape from April — his speech was plodding,
But he wasn’t there because instead he went golfing,
So he missed the prayers and hymns and Christians who attended — sparsely.
If the DNC won’t release its 2024 election autopsy, it can’t be read,
Anyway, it’s probably just a lot of finger pointing he said/she said.
Still, enquiring minds want to know
What happened in the 2024 shit show,
Not that it much matters because the subject of the autopsy’s still dead.
Trump’s attack on Iran was a war of his own choosing,
Though his reasons for it ran from dumb to confusing.
He said we’ve now won the war twelve times,
Though there are no “Mission Accomplished” signs.
So, if we’re winning this much, why does it feel like we’re losing?
Some have characterized Trump’s environmental record as unholy,
As he guts wind and solar and focuses on fossil fuels solely.
But when trying to promote the nastiest fuel,
You need help from a traditional marketing tool —
An animated, anthropomorphized lump of anthracite named “Coalie.”
The recent news out of Kentucky was just awful,
They found the senator unconscious and horizontal.
And since his hospitalization,
There’s been little news about his condition,
But now everybody’s having a 20-minute conversation with Mitch McConnell.
