Year: 2026
The Persian Paradox

Trump’s attack on Iran was a war of his own choosing,
Though his reasons for it ran from dumb to confusing.
He said we’ve now won the war twelve times,
Though there are no “Mission Accomplished” signs.
So, if we’re winning this much, why does it feel like we’re losing?
Cute, Cuddly Coal

Some have characterized Trump’s environmental record as unholy,
As he guts wind and solar and focuses on fossil fuels solely.
But when trying to promote the nastiest fuel,
You need help from a traditional marketing tool —
An animated, anthropomorphized lump of anthracite named “Coalie.”
Lots of Americans Think the Latest Trump Assassination Attempt was Staged
56%
A survey of 1,000 Americans conducted by YouGov on behalf of NewsGuard found that 24 percent believe the foiled attack by a gunman on April 25 was not a real attempt to kill Trump, the Daily Beast Reports. When expanded to include those who believe the assassination attempt was staged or are “unsure,” the figure rises significantly to 56 percent. Nearly one-third of Americans (30 percent) also believe that at least one of the assassination attempts against the president—the WHCD dinner incident, the shooting in Butler, Pennsylvania, in July 2024, or the foiled attack at one of Trump’s Florida golf courses in September 2024—was staged.
Russia Has Lost Over 350,000 Soldiers in War on Ukraine
352,000
\
“About 352,000 Russian soldiers had died in the war against Ukraine through the end of 2025, according to a new estimate, underscoring the high cost that President Vladimir V. Putin is willing to bear to pursue his battlefield aims,” the New York Times reports.
Labor Department Reports Stronger-than-Expected Job Growth in April
115,000
America’s employers delivered a surprising 115,000 new jobs last month despite an economic shock from the Iran war, reported the AP. Hiring beat the 65,000 jobs forecasters had expected, though it decelerated from the 185,000 jobs created in March. The unemployment rate remained at a low 4.3%, the Labor Department reported Friday.
In the Genes

Karoline Leavitt just had her second kid with her “older guy,”
But she’s just off on maternity leave — it’s not a permanent goodbye.
Among the upcoming baby milestones,
They’re anticipating at the Leavitt home,
The one closest to the press sec’s heart surely is Baby’s First Lie.


