Tag: JD Vance is an ass
An Army of Assassins
About the “highest and best use of the military” there’s some confusion.
In olden times, we’d save ’em for forever wars and the occasional invasion.
But JD Vance doesn’t give a shit
If some Venezuelan civilians get hit,
‘Cause his “highest and best” military use is extraterritorial assassination.
Rand Paul Schools JD Vance on Extraterritorial Executions
“JD ‘I don’t give a shit’ Vance says killing people he accuses of a crime is the ‘highest and best use of the military.’ Did he ever read To Kill a Mockingbird? Did he ever wonder what might happen if the accused were immediately executed without trial or representation??”
— Sen. Rand Paul (R-KY), on X, tearing into Vance’s defense of the U.S. military’s strike on an alleged drug vessel leaving Venezuela.
Shake Shack Schnooks
Vance, Hegseth and Miller checked to make sure D.C.’s takeover was on track.
They met protesters, so the Three Horse’s Asses of the Apocalypse attacked.
They called protesters “stupid white hippies” and “communists”
Who advocate for the “the criminals, the killers, the rapists.”
Tough talk from tough guys with National Guard backup at the Shake Shack.
Stephen Miller: D.C. Police Takeover Protesters are ‘Stupid White Hippies’
“Most citizens in Washington D.C. are Black. This is not a city that has had any safety for its Black citizens for generations, and President Trump is the one who is fixing that. So we’re going to ignore these stupid white hippies. They all need to go home and take a nap because they’re all over 90 years old.”
— White House deputy chief of staff Stephen Miller, quoted by USA Today, on protesters angry with the federal takeover of D.C. police.
Vance Got His Vacation; Too Bad About Yours
“We had the island to ourselves which was very cool. I had never been to Disneyland. I thought it was awesome… Sorry to all the people that are Disneyland for the longer lines, but we had a very good time.”
— Vice President JD Vance, talking to Katie Miller, on Disneyland being shut down for one of his many family vacations.
Pope Leo Evades JD Vance’s Grip of Death
17 seconds
“Pope Leo XIV spurned J.D. Vance on Sunday, offering him a quick greeting after his inaugural mass while holding extensive private meetings with other world leaders,” the Daily Beast reports. “The first American pope shook Vance’s hand during a brief, 17-second exchange during the procession line after the mass.”
Vance at the Vatican
JD Vance is a Catholic convert and mealy-mouthed acerbic dope.
He went to the Vatican on Easter to meet the pontiff, he hoped.
While the two differ on the concept of ordo amoris,
By Monday, we were posing one question, which is,
Did JD Vance somehow kill our favorite Argentinian Pope?
Another Reason Championship Teams Shouldn’t Visit the White House
JD Vance is rumblin’, bumblin’, fumblin’.
The Ohio State Buckeyes won the first title in the first year of the 12-team playoff, defeating Tennessee, Oregon, Texas and Notre Dame in the final. So, like many championship teams do, they visited the White House for a photo op with the president and vice president.
Then Vance — the farthest thing from a championship athlete (or effective vice president) — fumbled the national trophy.
