God Continues to Refuse to Call Jerry Falwell Home

As further proof that a loving, merciful transcendent being does not exist, God did not call the Rev. Jerry Falwell home to heaven again this year. Falwell turned 72 today to the dismay of enlightened earthlings who continue to pray for a sign from God that Falwell’s work on the planet is complete.

Instead, Falwell continues his evangelical mischief, as evidenced by the Anti-Defamation League’s calls for him to retract his “vote Christian in 2008” statement in a fundraising letter.

According to the Lynchburg News Advance, Falwell claimed his statement was not meant to be anti-Jewish. Obviously, the ADL is not buying that particular line of B.S.:

“Rev. Falwell’s recent statements are directly at odds with the American ideal and should be rejected,” said ADL National Director Abraham H. Foxman. “Understanding the danger of combining religion and politics, our founding fathers wisely cre-ated a political system based on individual merit and religious inclusiveness.”

Falwell, pastor of Lynchburg’s Thomas Road Baptist Church, claimed his statement was misunderstood.

“What I was saying was for conservative Christian voters to vote their values, which are pro-life and pro-family,” Falwell said. “I had no intention of being anti-Jewish at all.”

According to the ADL, Falwell’s “vote Christian” appeal was included in a fundraising letter in which Falwell exhorted supporters to “call America back to God;” the letter included a bumper sticker with the legend, “I Vote Christian.”

In other news, Pat Robertson, who also has not been called home to God, issued a statement urging conservative voters to ask themselves “How would Jesus vote?”


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