Juan’s Ton o’ Merdre

Juan Williams is a sly Fox News analyst
Whose truthfulness makes him a fine panelist.
But when he said she has charisma,
Though her brain power’s dismal,
He must have known Sarah Palin would get pissed.

Now, Juan knows the career of a pundit
Is brief, and even more to his credit,
We don’t hear him wailin’
“I’ve pissed off Ma Palin!”
But he did mutter, “This is one ton of sh*t.”

Although Juan has come pretty far,
He knows it don’t pay to dis right-wing stars.
He’ll be singin’ the blues
As he exits Fox News,
But where to? He can’t go back to NPR!

Verbatim

I mean, look, Bill, I’m not a bigot. You know the kind of books I’ve written about the civil rights movement in this country. But when I get on a plane, I got to tell you, if I see people who are in Muslim garb and I think, you know, they’re identifying themselves first and foremost as Muslims, I get worried. I get nervous.

— Former NPR and continuing FOX News commentator Juan Williams, explaining to Bill O’Reilly that he’s not racist, just nervous (in the words of comic Marc Maron). Williams was fired from NPR following his appearance on FOX’s The O’Reilly Factor.