Donald Trump seems to take pride in his venal criminality,
Asserting that the only limit on his actions is his own morality.
But of course Trump has no morals,
So he obeys neither laws nor rules —
And the only real check on his behavior will be his own mortality.
Today Nicolas Maduro was arraigned in New York on charges of narco-terrorism,
He pleaded “not guilty” and claimed to be a “decent man,” not a villain.
But Maduro got bad legal advice:
His lawyer forgot Trump Inherent Vice™ —
He should have pleaded guilty and then bought a Trump Pardon™ for two million.
With Trump on the rampage, no nation is sovereign,
He’s bent on regime change, and Congress? Eh, fuck ’em.
Where next will Trump’s juggernaut go?
Look out, Cuba, Colombia and Mexico!
We’re going to pwn the Western Hemisphere under this new “Donroe Doctrine.”
At Christmas the Trumpers cosplayed being Christians,
Sharing messages at odds with their political missions.
While they tweet fake posts of love and peace,
And profess to hold phony Christian beliefs,
They’re all daily engaged in killing their fellow humans.
Politifact’s annual Lie of the Year stands out, impact-wise,
The premier prevarication is usually both shocking and unwise.
But in 2025 the lies came so fast and furious,
And were so widely hurtful and broadly injurious,
Politfact just gave up and called 2025 The Year of the Lies.
Donald Trump fancies himself a bit of a thespian,
But of the reality-show type — not a Shakespearian.
Though as he totters across the political stage,
His mind befuddled by vengeance and rage,
He seems less “The Apprentice’ and ever more Mad King Learian.
It’s been a tough few days for Donald Trump’s “Rig the Midterms” plans.
He thought he held the levers of redistricting in his tiny hands.
But despite Trump’s pressure campaign,
All he can do now is complain
About a state legislature full of intractable Indiana Republicans.
So they analyzed Trump’s Truth Social post with Grok, Claude and ChatGPT,
And the robots agreed: Trump has “classic narcissistic personality.”
The automatons were quick to diagnose
That Trump is both insecure and grandiose.
Finally, the AIs concurred: Trump’s disordered mind is warped by increasing senility.
They say that power naps can be effective,
Especially for a busy chief executive.
So when Dear Leader Dozy Don
Nods out with a blink and a yawn,
It’s OK — when he’s asleep he’s not spewing racist invective.
Where Melania Trump gets her Xmas decorating ideas no one knows,
But she “worked her arse off” though no one “gives a fuck” — so it goes.
Themed “Home is where the heart is,”
It’s tacky, shallow and tasteless,
Highlighted by a portrait of Donald Trump (his mug shot, of course) made from Legos.
Vice President JD Vance is off on an essential mission:
Vance-splaining Trump’s lies, like a truth beautician.
He ‘splained Catholicism to the Pope,
As if Leo was a dunderheaded dope,
Now he’s ‘splaining to the GOP how to win the midterm elections.
