In the Free State of Florida, we’ve got a lock on hokey,
So if Donald Trump wants something done, we say okey-dokey.
“Alligator Alcatraz” was really neat-o
And then we built the “Deportation Depot,”
But we saved the best playful name for last with “Panhandle Pokey.”
If you’re furloughed in a government shutdown, it’s wise
To craft an out-of-office reply that doesn’t proselytize.
But if you work for the Department of Education,
You can expect some unwelcome emendations,
As they fill your OOO with partisan distortions and lies.
The government shutdown is already taking terrible tolls,
Since Trump sicced Russ Vought on the government’s payrolls.
But there’s one silver lining
That journalists are finding:
The shutdown has cut the number of Trump’s press office trolls.
Government shutdowns like this aren’t good for anyone, bub,
And it’s not likely to expand the Donald Trump Fan Club.
But Trump and Republicans seem
To be fulfilling Grover Norquists’ dream —
Make the U.S. government small enough to drown it in a bathtub.
Donald Trump thinks he should chair an international “board of peace”
To rebuild Gaza if the Israelis ever tire of war and desist and cease.
But he wants to take Baghram back from the Taliban
And he’s been doing a lot of blowing up of Venezuelans,
So from his actions, it seems more likely that Trump is already bored of peace.
No one would accuse rioter Jacob Chansley of being a polymath,
But on January 6, the “QAnon Shaman” was clearly on the war path.
Now his $40 trillion Trump suit
Will surely get the judicial boot,
Because it’s 26 pages long and written in a single paragraph.
It was deleted from Trump’s Truth Social before it was widely read.
It was an AI deepfake with an AI Donald Trump as a talking head
Pitching us a kooky QAnon conspiracy
Mashed up with pseudoscientific technology,
With huckster Trump promising we’ll each get a card for our own miracle MedBed.
Capitulating to Trump requires an act of moral desertion;
It just emboldens the bully to double down on intimidation.
Look, bending a knee
Will not set you free,
It just encourages Trump to commit greater acts of extortion.
At the United Nations, Donald Trump berated an international crowd,
And said all the internal, secret things that shouldn’t be said out loud.
His performance was intensely embarrassing,
And the media worked overtime sane-washing
What was “a crack-brained elderly man-child shouting at windmills and clouds.”
Ron Filipkowski has the best summary of President Trump’s address to the United Nations:
1. Your countries all suck.
2. None of you know what you are doing.
3. The U.S. is better at everything.
4. All because of me.
5. I’m right about everything.
6. You should listen to me and do what I say.
7. And give me lots of awards.
Trump and the Iranians seem to be in different realities,
Though they share a callousness toward the war’s casualties.
Is Trump insane
Or just insanely vain?
And how can we extract ourselves from his “Quagmire of the Vanities?”
