For Trump, he can’t replace Karoline Leavitt with just anyone,
No, he’s thinking, the new press sec should be a mother’s son.
So he’s looking for a masculine manly man
With big balls, swinging dick and golfer’s tan.
He’s gotta be smooth, cool and fairly brimming with testosterone.
For Donald Trump, the title “commander-in-chief” has no limits,
And so he thinks he has the naval knowledge of an Admiral Nimitz.
He wants to reposition conning towers
And go steampunk for aircraft throwers,
But he should stick to ballroom design and keep his mitts off battleships.
Karoline Leavitt is leaving the Trump White House life,
She was such a good liar, but she’s done with the tension and strife.
She was a terror at the podium,
Spewing falsehoods, spite and odium,
But she’s going to raise her babies as a Turning Point USA tradwife.
The contractor Trump hired was under-qualified and overpaid,
Though Trump says it was done by vandals with sharp blades.
But the damage wasn’t done by an Olympian vandal,
Trump did it himself, which is why it’s a scandal:
The Reflecting Pool was ruined by Trump’s 10-SUV motorcade.
Ron DeSantis once was one of the GOP’s rising stars,
But he fell from grace so very fast and so very far.
Congress gave Florida a $197 million allocation
Earmarked for electric car charging stations,
But DeSaneless would rather fund landing pads for flying cars.
In the diplomatic ranks, trained professionals toil,
To keep the peace and tamp down foreign turmoil.
But for Greek ambassador,
Trump picked an artful dodger —
The grifting, drunken blackmailer Kimberly Guilfoyle.
