Author: Buck Banks
Tillis Tells It on Paxton
“To call Ken Paxton ethically challenged is to call Jeffrey Dahmer suffering from an eating disorder.”
— Sen. Thom Tillis (R-NC), quoted by the New York Times, on the new Republican nominee for Senate in Texas.
The Great Negotiator
In negotiating with Iran, Trump can’t just pull a deal off the shelf,
Not after starting the war and then asking NATO allies for help.
The guy from “The Art of the Deal”
Is only good at the Art of the Steal,
And then he’s a great negotiator when he’s self-dealing with himself.
That Benighted Burgum
Trump’s Interior secretary Doug Burgum is a dope.
Oval Office photo ops are the extent of his scope.
Still, he went on Fox News
To share his idiotic views,
And criticized the encyclical penned by the Pope.
From Prop to Slop
Most authoritarians support their regime with propaganda,
It scores points with other dictators to whom they pander.
But Trump’s the kind of guy
Who likes to use AI,
Which is why his odious output qualifies as “slopaganda.”
Boebert Sucks Up to Trump After Massie Loss
“My friend & Co-Chair gave his all in Kentucky! Trump is my President! Jesus is Lord! I look forward to a lifetime filled with joy, purpose, and gratitude. May God continue to bless America and the freedoms that make this nation the greatest.”
— Rep. Lauren Boebert (R-CO) sucked up to President Trump, just hours after Rep. Thomas Massie (R-KY) was defeated in a Republican primary and Trump threatened to oppose Boebert’s re-election as well.
Musk Fuss Tossed
It was a lawsuit about deceit, artificial intelligence and market manipulation,
As the courtroom drama between Musk and Altman gripped a war-weary nation.
In the end the jury found there was no crime,
Just Elon Musk’s ketamine-addled sense of time.
What did him in wasn’t a lofty principle, it was a three-year statute of limitations.
Trump Skips His Prayer Rally
For once, Trump staged an event that didn’t seem to be too grifty,
It was a taxpayer-funded religious event called Rededicate 250.
Trump sent a tape from April — his speech was plodding,
But he wasn’t there because instead he went golfing,
So he missed the prayers and hymns and Christians who attended — sparsely.
