Year: 2026
No Naval Knowledge
For Donald Trump, the title “commander-in-chief” has no limits,
And so he thinks he has the naval knowledge of an Admiral Nimitz.
He wants to reposition conning towers
And go steampunk for aircraft throwers,
But he should stick to ballroom design and keep his mitts off battleships.
Lying Leavitt Leaves
Karoline Leavitt is leaving the Trump White House life,
She was such a good liar, but she’s done with the tension and strife.
She was a terror at the podium,
Spewing falsehoods, spite and odium,
But she’s going to raise her babies as a Turning Point USA tradwife.
Zelensky Doesn’t Want to Meet in Moscow Because of … Ukrainian Drones
“There are a lot of Ukrainian drones in the air. It would be dangerous.”
— Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky, quoted by the Associated Press, when President Trump asked him if he would accept Moscow as a venue for peace talks.
The Low Road
The contractor Trump hired was under-qualified and overpaid,
Though Trump says it was done by vandals with sharp blades.
But the damage wasn’t done by an Olympian vandal,
Trump did it himself, which is why it’s a scandal:
The Reflecting Pool was ruined by Trump’s 10-SUV motorcade.
Flight of Fancy
Ron DeSantis once was one of the GOP’s rising stars,
But he fell from grace so very fast and so very far.
Congress gave Florida a $197 million allocation
Earmarked for electric car charging stations,
But DeSaneless would rather fund landing pads for flying cars.
Binds that Tie
JD Vance’s social awkwardness extends into his married life,
Because he can’t stop referring to Usha as his “Indian wife.”
JD has also said he’s still wishin’
That Usha wasn’t Hindu, but Christian,
And that’s why JD’s looking down a very long road of marital strife.
