2026 - Page 12 of 43

Lame Enhanced Games

June 3, 2026June 26, 2026 Buck Banks

When Peter Thiel and Don Jr. funded the Enhanced Games, they had one hope:
That Olympic-level athletes would perform better when competing on dope.
But world records went unbroken
And Pete and Donnie took a soakin’,
Now they’re stuck, sliding down that slippery, money-losing transhumanism slope.

It’s the Corruption, Stupid!

June 2, 2026 Buck Banks

“This is a gem sitting there. I think the Democrats … have been episodic in touching it, rather than front and center. Corruption as part of the affordability narrative is more chess, where affordability alone is more checkers.”

— Rahm Emanuel told Semafor that Democrats “should sharpen their arguments about President Donald Trump’s self-dealing while in office — by hitching them to affordability-focused messaging.”

Trump Yells at Netanyahu

June 2, 2026 Buck Banks

“What the fk are you doing? …. You’re fking crazy. You’d be in prison if it weren’t for me. I’m saving your ass. Everybody hates you now. Everybody hates Israel because of this.”

— President Trump lashed out at Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu over Israel’s escalation in Lebanon in an expletive-laden call on Monday, Axios reports.

A Media Catch-22

June 2, 2026June 18, 2026 Buck Banks

Pentqgon Pete’s “Defensive” Department’s created a new Catch-22,
Hegseth’s war on the media is petty, but what’s a Fox host to do?
By designating the room “classified,”
He’s left reporters hamstrung and hog-tied,
Because the PRESS can’t access the Pentagon PRESS office, they’re screwed.

Bothersome Biden Babble

May 30, 2026 Buck Banks

The Dems want to move on from 2024, but the Bidens won’t let them go.
Jill’s out with her memoir and making the rounds of the talk shows.
Joe’s suing the Department of Justice,
Hunter’s doing far-right podcasts,
Please just shut the F up Bidens, that means you: Hunter, Jill and Joe!

Pope Broke Kids’ Trope

May 29, 2026 Buck Banks

The pope is God’s earthbound representative of heaven,
He prays, shepherds his flock and offers communion.
But Pope Leo is cool,
He’s nobody’s fool,
Although he did just ruin the kids’ internet meme, “6-7.”

Latinos Still Not Flocking to Democratic Party

May 28, 2026 Buck Banks

54%

CBS News: “Some 54% of Latino voters plan to vote for a Democratic House candidate in November, and 27% plan to vote for a Republican, with 19% undecided, according to the poll of 3,000 registered Latino voters, which was conducted nationally and across 32 competitive congressional districts …. That 54% figure lines up exactly with the Democratic share of the Latino vote in the 2024 House elections, according to exit polls that year — which is a notable drop from previous cycles. Democrats won 60% of the Latino House vote in 2022, 63% in 2020 and 69% in 2018.”

Tillis Tells It on Paxton

May 28, 2026 Buck Banks

“To call Ken Paxton ethically challenged is to call Jeffrey Dahmer suffering from an eating disorder.”

— Sen. Thom Tillis (R-NC), quoted by the New York Times, on the new Republican nominee for Senate in Texas.

The Great Negotiator

May 28, 2026June 9, 2026 Buck Banks

In negotiating with Iran, Trump can’t just pull a deal off the shelf,
Not after starting the war and then asking NATO allies for help.
The guy from “The Art of the Deal”
Is only good at the Art of the Steal,
And then he’s a great negotiator when he’s self-dealing with himself.

That Benighted Burgum

May 27, 2026 Buck Banks

Trump’s Interior secretary Doug Burgum is a dope.
Oval Office photo ops are the extent of his scope.
Still, he went on Fox News
To share his idiotic views,
And criticized the encyclical penned by the Pope.

Year: 2026

Lame Enhanced Games

It’s the Corruption, Stupid!

“This is a gem sitting there. I think the Democrats … have been episodic in touching it, rather than front and center. Corruption as part of the affordability narrative is more chess, where affordability alone is more checkers.”

— Rahm Emanuel told Semafor that Democrats “should sharpen their arguments about President Donald Trump’s self-dealing while in office — by hitching them to affordability-focused messaging.”

Trump Yells at Netanyahu

“What the fk are you doing? …. You’re fking crazy. You’d be in prison if it weren’t for me. I’m saving your ass. Everybody hates you now. Everybody hates Israel because of this.”

— President Trump lashed out at Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu over Israel’s escalation in Lebanon in an expletive-laden call on Monday, Axios reports.

A Media Catch-22

Bothersome Biden Babble

Pope Broke Kids’ Trope

Latinos Still Not Flocking to Democratic Party

54%

Tillis Tells It on Paxton

“To call Ken Paxton ethically challenged is to call Jeffrey Dahmer suffering from an eating disorder.”

— Sen. Thom Tillis (R-NC), quoted by the New York Times, on the new Republican nominee for Senate in Texas.

The Great Negotiator

That Benighted Burgum

Poetic Justice

Verbatim

“The man is afraid of the voice of the people and that the people understand and know what he’s doing. He’s trying to stifle the ability of journalists to let the people of America know what’s really going on with their government.”

— “Kamala Harris called President Donald Trump’s ban of CNN, MS NOW and Politico from the White House ‘absolutely abhorrent,’” The Wrap reports.

“Not one of them is trained in technical skills. Not one research PhD, as opposed to China, where half the cabinet is science and technology PhDs. We’re led by grifters and fools.”

— Columbia professor Jeffrey Sachs, on X, on President Trump’s 35-person cabinet.

“Mr. President, some of your immigration enforcement efforts have gone too far… The same Hispanics who helped you get to the White House in 2024 feel betrayed today.”

— Rep. Maria Elvira Salazar (R-FL), breaking with President Trump in a direct-to-camera video.

Numerati

1,000

10%

“The unprecedented spate of mid-decade redistricting for the U.S. House has changed the congressional districts for one-tenth of Americans and significantly altered the makeup of at least one-fifth of districts, according to a new study,” the Associated Press reports.

71%

A new Fox News Poll finds 71% of voters think the Trump administration lacks a clear strategy for ending the Iran War, including 95% of Democrats, 83% of independents, and 43% of Republicans. Sixty percent say U.S. military action against Iran was the wrong decision, while just 37% say it was right.

$9.5 billion

“The Trump administration last year spent $9.5 billion on paid administrative leave for federal workers as part of its plan to shrink the government and save taxpayers money, according to a new estimate by a congressional watchdog,” CNN reports.

470

Reuters has documented at least 470 targets of retribution under Trump’s leadership – from federal employees and prosecutors to universities and media outlets. The list illuminates the sweeping effort by the president and his administration to punish dissent and reshape the government.

“This is a gem sitting there. I think the Democrats … have been episodic in touching it, rather than front and center. Corruption as part of the affordability narrative is more chess, where affordability alone is more checkers.”

— Rahm Emanuel told Semafor that Democrats “should sharpen their arguments about President Donald Trump’s self-dealing while in office — by hitching them to affordability-focused messaging.”

“What the f**k are you doing? …. You’re f**king crazy. You’d be in prison if it weren’t for me. I’m saving your ass. Everybody hates you now. Everybody hates Israel because of this.”

— President Trump lashed out at Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu over Israel’s escalation in Lebanon in an expletive-laden call on Monday, Axios reports.

54%

“To call Ken Paxton ethically challenged is to call Jeffrey Dahmer suffering from an eating disorder.”

— Sen. Thom Tillis (R-NC), quoted by the New York Times, on the new Republican nominee for Senate in Texas.

Poetic Justice

Verbatim

“The man is afraid of the voice of the people and that the people understand and know what he’s doing. He’s trying to stifle the ability of journalists to let the people of America know what’s really going on with their government.”

— “Kamala Harris called President Donald Trump’s ban of CNN, MS NOW and Politico from the White House ‘absolutely abhorrent,’” The Wrap reports.

“Not one of them is trained in technical skills. Not one research PhD, as opposed to China, where half the cabinet is science and technology PhDs. We’re led by grifters and fools.”

— Columbia professor Jeffrey Sachs, on X, on President Trump’s 35-person cabinet.

“Mr. President, some of your immigration enforcement efforts have gone too far… The same Hispanics who helped you get to the White House in 2024 feel betrayed today.”

— Rep. Maria Elvira Salazar (R-FL), breaking with President Trump in a direct-to-camera video.

Numerati

1,000

10%

“The unprecedented spate of mid-decade redistricting for the U.S. House has changed the congressional districts for one-tenth of Americans and significantly altered the makeup of at least one-fifth of districts, according to a new study,” the Associated Press reports.

71%

$9.5 billion

“The Trump administration last year spent $9.5 billion on paid administrative leave for federal workers as part of its plan to shrink the government and save taxpayers money, according to a new estimate by a congressional watchdog,” CNN reports.

470

Reuters has documented at least 470 targets of retribution under Trump’s leadership – from federal employees and prosecutors to universities and media outlets. The list illuminates the sweeping effort by the president and his administration to punish dissent and reshape the government.

“What the fk are you doing? …. You’re fking crazy. You’d be in prison if it weren’t for me. I’m saving your ass. Everybody hates you now. Everybody hates Israel because of this.”