Month: March 2026
Here, There, Everywhere
And here we thought the Iran War was happening way over there,
In the Middle East, half a world away, so … nothing to fear.
Then the State Department had to blurt
A terrifying Worldwide Caution Alert,
Because, as it turns out, Americans aren’t safe on earth anywhere.
Air Travel with ICE
Trump’s sending ICE agents to airports to bolster the TSA,
‘Cause those TSA guys are calling in sick or working sans pay.
Now, if you try to carry on a 5-ounce shampoo,
Here’s what an ICE airport security agent’ll do:
Zip-tie your wrists and march you off to somewhere far, far away.
Trump’s Cashed-In Cabinet
To join Trump’s cabinet is to open oneself to ill-use and abuse,
They wanted power and prominence, and now they’re paying their dues.
They endure public humiliations
And suffer ongoing degradations,
But worst of all, they now have to wear those “goddamned Florsheim shoes.”*
*H/T to Jake Gittes
Most Americans Believe Trump Will Send Troops to War in Iran
65%
“Some ?65% of Americans believe President Donald Trump will order troops into a large-scale ground war in Iran and ?just 7% support that idea, a Reuters/Ipsos poll found.
Deep Insight Into the Trump Administration’s Communications Strategy
“We’re over here just grinding away on banger memes, dude. There’s an entertainment factor to what we do. But ultimately, it boils down to the fact that no one has ever attempted to communicate with the American public this way before.”
— A senior White House official, quoted by Politico, on producing TikTok-style videos to promote the Iran war.
Strait of Newt
Need a way around the Strait of Hormuz? Just ask Newt Gingrich.
We assume he didn’t know his repost was satire, which is rich.
He suggested dropping a few megatons,
And BOOM! Hormuz problem be gone!
Then you’d have a deep, wide and only slightly radioactive ditch.
