Year: 2008
South Florida Wants to Be the 51st State
Florida’s legislative session this year was one for the record books. The House, led by Miami Republican wonder boy Marco Rubio, devolved into deadlock and strife, including an all-nighter on the eve of Passover weekend. The Senate mired down over such important legislation as the outlawing of “truck nutz.” Meanwhile, neither produced real progress on insurance reform but did pass a budget that cut out kids, oldsters, the sick, the dying, the handicapped, the college-bound, and most folks in between.
It got so bad that, after not getting their way over slots gaming, a few South Florida legislators suggested the region take its tax money and set up its own state. The line, they said, would be drawn just north of the Broward County, which if you’re not familiar, is where Fort Lauderdale is.
North Florida, which would retain both the Gators and the Seminoles, was fine with South Florida going away.
The problem is that no one wants Central Florida, with its uncontrolled growth and traffic gridlock
If this had been done earlier, the good people of North Florida wouldn’t have had to suffer through eight years of Gov. Jeb Bush, a Miami resident.
We also wouldn’t have had to put up with the damage done to North Florida by House Speaker Marco Rubio, another Miami resident.
And think about it. Where do hurricanes strike most often?
That’s right. South Florida.
If North Florida became a separate state, maybe we wouldn’t have to subsidize rebuilding oceanfront mansions in South Florida and our property insurance rates would go down.
Hanging chads? Another state’s problem.
Yes, sir, this idea has real appeal.
The problem is that no one wants Central Florida, with its uncontrolled growth and traffic gridlock. Northeast Florida is now fighting efforts by Orlando to siphon water from the St. Johns River, a move which would dry up tributaries and wetlands across the region just to water Central Florida lawns and keep Lake Buena Vista blue for the tourists. Those fighting the water grab have nicknamed it, “The Big Suck.” Who wants to be on that team?
If South Florida won’t take Central Florida and Walt Disney World, perhaps it would be better to divide Florida into three states – North Florida, Central Florida and South Florida.
With that, Rubio could be governor of South Florida, Charlie Crist could be governor of Central Florida and we could elect someone with sense to be governor of North Florida.
That would be a refreshing change.
Buck and I could no longer commiserate about our shared state’s Democratic party, but we could compare notes on the two new states’ organizations, which are bound to be just as disappointing.
We’ll keep you posted on whether Florida joins the Dakotas and the Carolinas in civic divorce.
Quoted in Exit Polling for N.C. Primary
“I went in there thinking I was going to vote for Hillary. I just started thinking about the electability issue. I think he can actually pull it off.”
– Rob Carr, 50, Charlotte, friend of Pensito Review — speaking to reporter doing exit polling for the Charlotte Observer.
Happy birthday, Rob!
Republican Congressman Pulls a Twofer — Drunk Driving and Adultery
So if you’re planning on running for re-election to Congress in November, is it really a good idea to get a snootfull, get into a car and drive over to see your 3-year-old illegitimate daughter? Apparently the total lack of prudence of such a course of action never occurred to Rep. Vito J. Fonsella, R-N.Y.
The five-term congressman from Staten Island was arrested for drunk driving May 1 in Alexandria, Va. He admitted that he was on his way to see his daughter by Laura Fay, a former Air Force officer. Fonsella has three children with his wife, Mary Pat.
Fonsella was already considered a weak candidate in the November elections, and his imbibing and driving, and his wayward willy now make it almost certain that the Dems are going to be all over his seat like marinara on linguine:
“This is a race that we’ve been targeting for a long time, and we believe that it’s a district that is certainly winnable,†said Carrie James, a spokeswoman for the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee. “We’re ready for an election now, or we’ll be ready in November.â€
Of course, the Republicans, who are used to this kind of bad behavior, are playing it soft and sympathetic:
The chairman of the House GOP’s campaign organization, Tom Cole of Oklahoma, said Republican leaders are giving Fossella time to deal with his family problems before broaching the topic of his political future.
But Cole said the party will be ready to defend Fossella’s seat if he resigns or decides not to seek re-election this fall.
“We’re not going to be caught flat-Âfooted,†Cole said. “We think we can win in a special election. If he were to choose to vacate, there would be adequate candidates on both sides.â€
For his part, Fonsella is suitably contrite:
“My personal failings and imperfections have caused enormous pain to the people I love, and I am truly sorry,†Fossella said in his statement. “While I understand that there will be many questions, including those about my political future, making any political decisions right now are furthest from my mind.’’
Making wise political decisions was certainly far from his mind when he got tanked up and drove off to see his bastard daughter. It was a typical Republican morality two-fer. At least he wasn’t wearing a dress and makeup.
McCain People Show Grave Concern About Age Issue
My goodness, the McCain folks are touchy! They read a whole lot into one pretty tame phrase.
Pipe down, Gramps, and quit crying victimhood
Obama, 46, was asked about a recent comment by McCain, 71, that the Islamist Palestinian group Hamas favors Obama for president.
“I think (this) is unfortunate, particularly since my policy toward Hamas has been no different than his,” Obama said on the CNN program “The Situation Room.”
“And so for him to toss out comments like that I think is an example of him losing his bearings as he pursues this nomination,” he said.
‘Kaay. And what’s bad about that?
The McCain campaign said the “losing his bearings” comment was an underhanded reference to the fact that McCain is 71 years old.
Mark Salter, one of the advisers, said, “Obama’s attack today: He used the words ‘losing his bearings’ intentionally, a not particularly clever way of raising John McCain’s age as an issue…”
“That quote is a not-so-subtle attempt by Obama to insinuate the age issue into the race,” another McCain adviser said. “He attacks viciously with subtlety and innuendo…”
Yeah, it was so subtle it went right past me. Thanks for pointing it out, guys. I would have read that and thought it meant McCain was getting so wrapped up in the quest for office that he’ll say anything, or maybe that he had his facts mixed up. Now I see it was Obama’s subtle way of reminding us McCain is 71. Kraf-tee!
Of course, McCain’s folks weren’t concerned about crying foul when the old guy recently said Obama was an out of touch elitist who is “not ready” to be president. Pipe down, Gramps, and quit crying victimhood.
Infectious Disease Update
Outbreaks of infectious diseases reported today through the worldwide ProMed network include:
- Hand, foot & mouth disease in China, Macao S.A.R.
- Porcine enzootic reprodroductive and respiratory syndrome in Viet Nam
- Malaria in Africa as a result of substandard and counterfeit drugs
- Crimean-Congo hemorrhagic fever in Turkey
- Canine rabies restrictions have been lifted in England
- Human and bovine anthrax in Lima and Piura, Peru
Quote du Jour
After all, what’s a cult? It just means not enough people to make a minority.
— Robert Altman (1922-2006), American film director
Poll: Bush Support Among Republicans Drops to 60% – Still Exorbitantly High for Worst President Ever
Despite a record in office comprised of one abysmal failure after another, the fact that George Bush still has the support of 60 percent of Republicans strains credulity. There is a glimmer of hope in this new Gallup number, however, because it represents a slight drop in support for Bush among GOP dead-enders:
Bush’s approval rating in his party has fallen, with 6-in-10 Republicans approving of the job he’s doing, a Gallup poll indicates.
Throughout his presidency, Bush averaged 85 percent approval among Republicans, including 92 percent during his first term and 77 percent in his second term until the 60 percent registered in the latest survey, the Gallup poll released Thursday indicated…
Pollsters at the Princeton, N.J., company said lower support among Republicans is the main reason behind the drop in Bush’s overall rating. His approval ratings among Democrats and independents were low already.
The culprit for the decline in Bush’s overall job approval rating could be rising gas prices, which historically weigh down presidential approval ratings, pollsters said.
Last month, Bush — whose overall approval rating hovers around 28 percent — added two more metrics to his record as the Worst President Ever: He became the most disliked president in the history of the Gallup poll. And, after accruing 39 months without the approval of a majority of Americans, he became the president with the longest disapproval record.
Death Knell for Hillary … or Barack??
The Associated Press reports that former senator and ex-presidential candidate George McGovern is switching from backing Clinton to backing Obama. Here’s the rather weird AP story:
Former Sen. George McGovern, who backed Hillary Rodham Clinton, is urging her to drop out of the Democratic presidential race.
McGovern said Wednesday he has decided to endorse Barack Obama.
After watching the returns from the North Carolina and Indiana primaries Tuesday night, McGovern says it’s virtually impossible for Clinton to win the nomination.
McGovern says he is calling former President Clinton to tell him of the decision and adds that he remains close friends with the Clintons.
McCain Says Republicans Piss Him Off
Don’t make me come down there.A brave voter tossed a question sure to piss off John McCain at the candidate, then crouched back in a genital-covering squat and waited for the response. *
The voter read McCain a quote from Republican Sen. Thad Cochran of Mississippi, who said in January that “the thought of his being president sends a cold chill down my spine.”
“He is erratic,†Cochran told the Boston Globe. “He is hotheaded. He loses his temper.”
“I am familiar with the quote,†McCain cracked, as the questioner recounted Cochran’s comments.
The questioner, rumored to have lost a bet with friends resulting in his being forced to approach McCain, but in the most gentle terms possible, * said the Republican’s temper was “something of a concern.”
McCain admitted he gets mad. And you know what really pisses him off? His fellow Republicans.
The voter read McCain a quote from Republican Sen. Thad Cochran of Mississippi, who said in January that “the thought of his being president sends a cold chill down my spine”
“Well, I will confess to you my friend, that I get angry,†he explained. “I got angry when I saw a guy named Abramoff that ripped off Native Americans for millions and millions and millions of dollars that ended up putting him in federal prison.â€
“I get angry when I see 233 million of your tax dollars going to an island, to a bridge on an island with 50 people on it,†he said [in reference to pork spending from Sen. Ted Stevens (R-Alaska)]. “I get angry when I see corruption to the point when we have former members of Congress residing in federal prison [most likely indicating former Rep. “Duke” Cunningham (R-Calif.)].
Is it me, or was this an odd response? Couldn’t he have taken the opportunity to smear some Democrats there? You know, “I am really ticked off about gay marriage.” Or, “I lose it when the recorded voice asks me if I want to speak in Spanish.” Or, “I want to bite my car on the hood when someone says we need to leave Iraq before 2108.”
But no, all McCain’s ire was directed at those in his own party. And judging from the quote from Republican Thad Cochran that prompted the question, they aren’t too thrilled with him either.
* Well, that’s what I would have done anyway.
