Month: June 2006

Keillor Defends San Francisco

Trish

Garrison Keillor is outraged that the best argument Republicans can make for people to vote for them this fall is to keep Nancy Pelosi from becoming Speaker of the House.

Because she’s from San Francisco.

The iPod was not developed by Baptists in Waco, Texas

…it does draw attention to the large, shambling galoot who is House speaker now, Tom DeLay’s enabler for years, a man who, judging by his public mutterances, is about as smart as most high school wrestling coaches. For the past year, Dennis Hastert has been two heartbeats from the presidency. He is a man who seems content just to have a car and driver and three square meals a day. He has succeeded in turning Congress into a branch of the executive branch. If Mr. Hastert becomes the poster boy for the Republican Party, this does not speak well for them as the Party of Ideas.

People who want to take a swing at San Francisco should think twice…the Bay Area is the cradle of the computer and software industry, which continues to create jobs for our children. The iPod was not developed by Baptists in Waco, Texas.

…Meanwhile, the Current Occupant goes on impersonating a president…And one of the basic assumptions of American culture is falling apart: the competence of Republicans.

You might not have always liked Republicans, but you could count on them to manage the bank…To see them produce a ninny and then follow him loyally into the swamp for five years is disconcerting, like seeing the Rolling Stones take up lite jazz. So here we are at an uneasy point in our history, mired in a costly war, a supine Congress granting absolute power to a president who seems to get smaller and dimmer, and the best the Republicans can offer is San Franciscophobia?

And flag burning amendments, and 700-mile border fences, and bans on gay weddings, singing the national anthem in Spanish and abortion in South Dakota.

CBP Plan: Let’s Put Illegals On Cruise Ships

Buck Banks

Tough-love boat: You gotta give the Customs and Border Protection agency points for creativity. Or not.

Faced with a potential flood of illegal aliens apprehended in the impending immigration crack-down as the agency moves from its “catch-and-release” methodology (arrest them, give them a court date and hope they show — un-huh) to a “catch-and-don’t-release” one, CBP leaders asked managers to come up with ideas on how to deal with arrested illegals until they are tried or deported. Their creative answer? Charter cruise ships.

The bureau is considering either buying out-of-service cruise ships or leasing them to create “detention barges” at sea, the source said. The barges would act as jails, housing alleged violators of U.S. immigration law.

Because the cruise industry is not as profitable as it once was, CBP may get a bargain on ship space that has passed its prime, the source said. And, as the need for additional beds for detainees could only exist on a short-term basis, having a contract that creates more jail space for illegal immigrants will prove less costly than having to build new jails, the source said.

The bureau is considering either buying out-of-service cruise ships or leasing them to create ‘detention barges’ at sea.

When the Federal Emergency Management Agency was pressed for housing space to accommodate Hurricane Katrina evacuees last year, it chartered three Carnival Cruise ships for months to provide shelter for up to 7,000 people.

That worked out really well for Carnival, which was paid $236 million for the six-month charters. They caught tons of flak and bad press for supposedly bilking the gubmint on the deal. (Disclosure: I do consulting work for Carnival.) In the end, a congressional panel decided the deal wasn’t so great for Carnival after all, and having the ships available as quarters for first-responders did aid in recovery efforts.

In May, President Bush predicted that 4,000 additional beds will be needed by the end of fiscal 2006, and thousands more will be needed in the coming years. That seems like an understatement, considering there are about 12 million illegal immigrants in the United States. In any event, nobody wants to build immigrant jails, apparently, and the ones we already have are, well, overcrowded.

Look, we’re going to need them, so we might just as well allot some vast areas of federal land to creating impregnable detention camps for hundreds of thousands of farm workers, day laborers, housekeepers, construction workers, cab drivers, cooks, waiters, custodians and hotel workers. Heck, that’d have to be easier than building a 400-mile-long fence, wouldn’t it?

Cheney-Poe Amendment Fails

Jon Ponder

The Senate failed to pass a constitutional amendment today that would have banned the marriage of the daughter of the vice president of the United States, Mary Cheney, to her lesbian partner, Heather Poe.

Senators voting against the anti-gay “Federal Marriage Amendment” were all members of the Cheneys’ own party, except for Robert Byrd of West Virginia, a former member of the Ku Klux Klan, and Sen. Ben Nelson of Nebraska, whose toupee may be on a bit too tight. Republican Sen. Lindsey Graham of South Carolina, who is 50 years old and unmarried, and about whom gay rumors have been swirling, voted for the bill.

Senators voting for the gay-bashing amendment:

Alexander (R-TN)
Allard (R-CO)
Allen (R-VA)
Bennett (R-UT)
Bond (R-MO)
Brownback (R-KS)
Bunning (R-KY)
Burns (R-MT)
Burr (R-NC)
Byrd (D-WV)
Chambliss (R-GA)
Coburn (R-OK)
Cochran (R-MS)
Coleman (R-MN)
Cornyn (R-TX)
Craig (R-ID)
Crapo (R-ID) 		DeMint (R-SC)
DeWine (R-OH)
Dole (R-NC)
Domenici (R-NM)
Ensign (R-NV)
Enzi (R-WY)
Frist (R-TN)
Graham (R-SC)
Grassley (R-IA)
Hatch (R-UT)
Hutchison (R-TX)
Inhofe (R-OK)
Isakson (R-GA)
Kyl (R-AZ)
Lott (R-MS)
Lugar (R-IN) 		Martinez (R-FL)
McConnell (R-KY)
Murkowski (R-AK)
Nelson (D-NE)
Roberts (R-KS)
Santorum (R-PA)
Sessions (R-AL)
Shelby (R-AL)
Smith (R-OR)
Stevens (R-AK)
Talent (R-MO)
Thomas (R-WY)
Thune (R-SD)
Vitter (R-LA)
Voinovich (R-OH)
Warner (R-VA)

CA Gov: Angelides to Face Schwarzenegger

Jon Ponder

Status quo won the day here in California yesterday. State Treasurer Phil Angelides, who had the endorsement of labor unions as well as both of California’s U.S. senators, won the Democrative primary for governor, with nearly 48 percent of the vote (as of 5AM PST). Steve Westly, the state controller, received about 44 percent of the vote.

Gov. Schwarzenegger ran unopposed in the Republican primary and his handlers have done an effective job of keeping him quiet and out of the headlines over the past few months. As a result, the governor’s polling has “rebounded” to about 44 percent.

Schwarzenegger embarks on a bus tour of the state today. At the same time, the state’s labor unions — who soundly defeated four voter initiatives proposed by the governor last year, and who are credited with handing victory to Angelides yesterday — are said to be readying a new fusilage of ads against the governor to begin airing over the summer.

Insurance Commissioner John Garamendi appears to have won the Democratic primary for lieutenant governor against state Sen. Jackie Speier.

Former governor and Oakland Mayor Jerry Brown won the nomination for state attorney general, and is predicted to walk to victory in November. (Former congressman Ron Dellums appears to have won the nomination for Brown’s old job as mayor of Oakland.)

In the fight to win the CA 50 seat of jailed former congressman Duke Cunningham north of San Diego, Republican Brian Bilbray defeated Democrat Francine Busby 49 percent to 45 percent. The two could face each other again in November.

A Big Shout to Our Readers — Especially Those of You in the U.S. Congress

Jon Ponder

Yesterday was our biggest day yet in the 18 months Pensito Review has been in publication. We had over 34,000 page views in the 24 hour period, according to the Webalyzer service provided by our hosting company.

Thanks to all our regular readers — and you know who you are. And welcome to new readers, including the nearly 1 percent of that traffic that apparently came from the U.S. House of Representatives.

Did George Bush Really “Explore Alternative Lifestyles?”

Trish

Boy, have we been getting some interesting email since Editor-in-Chief Jon asked you to send in your own candidates for his list of hypocritical Republicans who disrespect marriage by fornicating with people to whom they are not.

Some of the most interesting are allegations that Monkeyboy is himself gay, or at least that he tried to be back in college, when he stayed so messed up he could have eaten babies and not remembered it later, save for the pacifier dangling from his lips.

Bush on tape: “I’m not going to kick gays, because I’m a sinner.”

The idea that Georgie might himself be of questionable heterosexuality would explain a lot, according to the emailers. Jeff Gannon, for one thing. Flirting with the Canadian prime minister’s press secretary, for another.

“Well, you got a pretty face,” he told the surprised Mr. Reid. He wasn’t done. “You got a pretty face,” he said again. “You’re a good-looking guy. Better looking than my Scott anyway.”

But what really leaps to mind is when Bush, so uncharacteristically, was supposedly caught on tape doing the right thing. Remember when his old pal Doug Wead appeared with recordings from when W. was still Texas governor, where he discussed his impending run for the White House? Why did Bush for once refuse to whip up the base?

Mr. Bush appeared most worried that Christian conservatives would object to his determination not to criticize gay people. “I think he wants me to attack homosexuals,” Mr. Bush said after meeting James Robison, a prominent evangelical minister in Texas.

But Mr. Bush said he did not intend to change his position. He said he told Mr. Robison: “Look, James, I got to tell you two things right off the bat. One, I’m not going to kick gays, because I’m a sinner. How can I differentiate sin?”

Um, I think that’s only one thing, W., but how exactly did you mean it? Really intriguing…

Newspaper Sues to See 2008 Republican National Convention Bid

Trish

Update: The Tampa Tribune is now reporting that the cost of the convention will be $124 million, with about $85 million coming from public sources. Florida Gov. Jeb Bush will be honorary chair.

The Tampa Tribune had to sue to see the city’s bid to host the 2008 Republican convention. And even though the city — which had outsourced the bid work to the Tampa Bay Convention & Visitors Bureau — caved, they still didn’t exactly throw open the gates to the information.

The Tribune’s lawsuit, filed in Hillsborough County Circuit Court, states that Tampa delegated to the visitors bureau the governmental function of preparing the bid and, therefore, the bid is a public record.

Dianne Jacob, senior vice president of marketing for the bureau, said the bid is in a 2.5-inch-thick binder. The bureau will allow reporters to view the document but not photocopy it.

“That’s just our policy,” Jacob said.

What would there be to hide in the bid? If you answered, “Republicans trying to bill the taxpayers for another lavish party,” go to the head of the class. St. Petersburg Times:

According to supporting documents from the city, the convention would cost the city and other governments $12.7-million in direct expenses and in-kind services.

A majority of the expense would be for security, including $5.5-million for police and $3.7-million for barricades.

Tampa is competing with three other cities for this “honor” — Cleveland, Minneapolis, and New York. Tampa was first runner-up for the 2004 convention. New York’s smarm factor, however, was irresistible to Rove and the other 2004 puppet masters, who envisioned Bush wrapping himself in a flag atop smoldering World Trade Center rubble. But rarely are conventions held in the same city twice in a row, especially when New York is becoming more associated with Hillary Clinton.

Republicans stole the 2004 election with help from Ohio’s secretary of state, Kenneth Blackwell, so Cleveland might well be rewarded this time.

“It comes down to Ohio and Florida because they’re the battleground states,” [chairman of the Ohio Republican Party Robert] Bennett said.

Florida’s got one thing Ohio doesn’t, though — hurricanes, especially in September, when the convention is set. And how would it look if Republicans had to evacuate, just as they’re practicing their speeches on the lack of proof of global warming?

Republican Consultant Needs to Consult Dictionary on Meaning of “Integrity”

Trish

File this under, “Too Good to Pass Up,” right next to, “Shots We Just Have to Take.”

A prominent Republican consultant is facing a huge $950,000 in fines for violating Florida election laws. He has admitted misusing an issues-oriented political organization — known under Florida law as an “electioneering communication organization — which is not allowed to ask for votes.

And the name of the sham grassroots group? The Committee to Restore Integrity in Politics. Miami Herald:

Rocky Pennington, chairman of the Committee to Restore Integrity in Politics…is well-known in political circles as both a campaign consultant for the Republican Party of Florida and Republican candidates as well as being the owner of a direct-mail firm in Clearwater…

Pennington’s committee spent more than $300,000 with Pennington’s direct-mail firm to send two fliers in October 2004 to nearly 500,000 voters urging them to vote against the amendment being pushed by South Florida dog and horse tracks…

The money for the committee’s effort came almost entirely from companies that offer cruises-to-nowhere that feature gambling, including $475,000 from Palm Beach Casino Line…

In a separate case against Pennington, the commission also ruled there is probable cause that the same committee broke the law when it also paid for fliers urging voters to defeat an amendment to the city charter of Fort Myers.

The Real Threat to Marriage: Top 10 GOP Adulterers

Jon Ponder

Ten Commandments

The traditional media may be interested almost exclusively in the sex lives of Democratic politicians, but on the hypocrisy index, it is hard to score higher than Republicans pontificating about saving the institution of marriage while so many of their leaders are serial and long-time adulterers:

1. President George H.W. Bush allegedly had an LTR with British-born Jennifer Fitzgerald that lasted at least two decades, all while married to Bar, who said, “He didn’t even notice when I stopped coloring my hair.”

2. Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger, famously married to Maria Shriver since 1986, is allegedly a purveyor of prostitutes, the father of at least one child out of wedlock and a serial groper of women in workplace situations.

3. Sen. John McCain, 2008 Republican presidential frontrunner, and admitted adulterer and alleged philanderer. [Update July 2008: McCain’s Extramarital Affair with Cindy Ended His Friendship with Reagans in the 1970s]

4. Rudolph Giuliani, former mayor of New York City and another GOP 2008 presidential contender, betrayed his second wife, TV presenter Donna Hanover, with his “very good friend” Judith Nathan, whom he has since married. Hanover also publicly accused Rudy of having an affair with a staffer, Cristyne Lategano-Nicholas.

5. Rush Limbaugh, comedian, (a.k.a. “Rusty Sharpe”) dated Marta Fitzgerald while she was married to someone else. Marta later became his third wife. (He and CNN’s Daryn Kagin recently stopped dating.)

6. Bill O’Reilly, propagandist, who is married to Maureen McPhilmy, tried to have phone sex with Andrea Mackris, who sued him for sexual harrassment.

7. Former House Speaker Newt Gingrich, is probably the most audacious serial adulterer in any political party.

8. Former Rep. Bob Barr’s notoriety as an adulterer was one of many ironies around the so-called Defense of Marriage Act (DoMA) which he wrote, and which was passed with the leadership of fellow adulterers Sen. Majority Leader Bob Dole and House Speaker Newt Gingrich.

9. Rep. Henry Hyde, who served as chairman of House Mangers in the adultery-related impeachment of President Clinton, was a home-wrecker himself. Hyde had an affair when he was a young and foolish man of 41 while he and his girlfriend were both very much married. Her husband later said Hyde broke up his family.

10. Gary Bauer, professional moralizing Christian nationalist, experienced a mutiny when he was running for president when actual Christians on the staff of his 2000 presidential campaign quit in protest over Bauer’s “inappropriate” behavior with a 26-year-old deputy campaign manager. Euww.

11. (Updated) Had to add this one sent in by reader S.O. that probably should have bumped poor old Henry Hyde on the list: Neal Horsley, and rightwing religious nut, freely admitted to a kinky sex life, including this outrageous exchange on Fox’s Hannity & Colmes:

AC: “You had sex with animals?”

NH: “Absolutely. I was a fool. When you grow up on a farm in Georgia, your first girlfriend is a mule.”

AC: “I’m not so sure that that is so.”

NH: “You didn’t grow up on a farm in Georgia, did you?”

AC: “Are you suggesting that everybody who grows up on a farm in Georgia has a mule as a girlfriend?”

NH: It has historically been the case. You people are so far removed from the reality… Welcome to domestic life on the farm…”

UPDATE: Thanks for all the emails. Our list attempts to identify the top 10 adulterers so there were several top contenders that didn’t make it:

  • Rep. Bob Livingston, the man who would have been House Speaker after Newt if Larry Flynt hadn’t uncovered some very kinky dirt on Livingtston. He was a top contender but since he never really served as Speaker, was bumped for Bauer.
  • It is true that Nancy Reagan was pregnant when she married Ronnie, but neither of them was married to anyone else at the time. By Republican standards of “abstinence only,” Nancy clearly did not say “no.”
  • We covered the rumors of troubles in the marriage of the president and Laura Bush but the evidence of this is spotty.
  • A definite top 10 contender is the Wall Street Journal’s John Fund, a sanctimonius Clinton-hater, who, as reader TL reminds us, “[Apparently] had a fling with the DAUGHTER of someone he was having an affair with and then arranged for (or at least condoned) the abortion of their child.”
  • Back-bencher Rep. Don Sherwood of Pennsylvania, whose adultery with a younger woman was revealed after he tried to strangle her, didn’t make the cut, but someone please tell us he won’t be re-elected. (And thanks, M.H. and others, for the reminder!)
  • Reader Tim pointed out the track record of Rep. Jim Nussle of Iowa, who used his wife and autistic child as family values props then left them for a high-powered lobbyist after he was elected.

Keep ’em coming!