Coalition communications: This is probably something that will engender the disdain of Editor Trish, but I find myself drawn to the Department of Defense press releases like an IED to the roadside. It’s weird because these releases are terrible. They are poorly written, full of doublespeak and just plain old B.S., and often don’t make a lick of sense.
But nonetheless, I find myself every few months back on the DoD site, signing up like a G.I. junky for e-mailed press releases. I’ll keep getting them for a couple of weeks and then unsubscribe when I can’t stand it anymore. So, occasionally, until I make myself ill, I’ll share some of the choicer gems from these military missives in this space.
In a release about an al Qaeda operative who was captured and a suspicious individual was killed who was later determined to be a “non-combatant,” we find this quote:
“Coalition forces take every precaution to mitigate risks to civilians while in pursuit of terrorists, and deeply regret any injury or death to non-combatants,” a Multinational Force Iraq statement issued after the incident said.
In the same release, for some reason, there was a bit about 450 detainees being released back into the population to this cheery speech:
‘We’re talking chemical agents here that could be packaged in a different format and have a great effect.’
Iraq’s national security adviser, Muwafaq al-Rubai, addressed the detainees at the Abu Ghraib theater internment facility and asked them to return to their jobs and share in the wealth of their country.
He said Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki has declared a reconciliation program for all those who are not tied to terrorism, and that there is no room for terrorists in Iraq.
I suppose the “Abu Ghraib theater internment facility” must be where the prisoners stage skits and plays as part of their rehabilitation.
Meanwhile, back in Washington, important work was getting done on Wednesday:
Labor and Defense Department officials celebrated the federal government’s support of National Guardsmen and reservists and the government’s role as a “model employer” at a ceremony here today.
“The message to America, to employers, to Guardsmen and reservists is your government is a model employer — your agencies, your secretaries,” Thomas F. Hall, assistant secretary of defense for reserve affairs, said.
Today’s ceremony concluded an initiative to have all 16 cabinet secretaries sign an Employer Support of the Guard and Reserve statement of support. The heads of all 80 federal agencies also have signed the statement, Hall said.
The statement signed is a 5-Star Statement of Support for the Guard and Reserve, meaning that the highest support criteria established by the Committee for Employer Support of the Guard and Reserve have been met. Those criteria include an employer’s willingness to sign a public statement of support, compliance with the Uniformed Services Employment and Re-Employment Rights Act and adopting policies that go “above and beyond” what’s required by law in supporting Guardsmen and reservists.
“This is the first document in U.S. history that has been signed by all the members of a president’s Cabinet in support of the National Guard and Reserves,” said Labor Secretary Elaine Chao, the first non-defense cabinet member to sign statement, said. “This is an historic and sweeping pledge to support our Guard and Reserve.”
Wow, a 5-Star statement! That should shame all those folks with “Support Our Troops” ribbons on their Hummers.
And then there are the items that you wonder didn’t make it into the MSM. Like the 500 weapons of mass destruction found in Iraq. Seems like that should have garnered more attention:
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