Comedian Lindsey Graham Jokes About Suicide

“What’s the worst thing the Democratic Party wants to hear? Chairman Jim Jordan. There are gonna be people jumping off bridges in San Francisco by the thousands. You know, New York City, they may literally shut down.”

— Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-SC) “was met with roaring laughter from a crowd of Republican voters on Tuesday evening when he suggested that Republican Rep. Jim Jordan’s ascension to chair of the House Judiciary Committee could result in a raft of suicides,” Insider reports.

Defending Present-Day Neanderthals in the Present

“Neanderthals are hunter-gatherers, they’re protectors of their family, they are resilient, they’re resourceful, they tend to their own. So, I think Joe Biden needs to rethink what he is saying.”

— Sen. Marsha Blackburn (R-TN), on Fox Business, on President Joe Biden’s criticism of the governors of Texas and Mississippi. It’s not clear why she’s speaking in the present tense.

Tuberville Can’t Comment on Greene Because … Weather

“I haven’t even looked at what all she’s done. I’d have to hold back a statement on that. Travel in this weather it’s been a little rough looking at any news or whatever.”

— Sen. Tommy Tuberville (R-AL) said that he can’t comment on allegations against Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-GA) because bad weather has prevented him from reading the news, Business Insider reports. Note: Tuberville’s only qualifications to be the freshman senator from Alabama was that he coached football at Auburn University.