Now You Can Sleep with Marilyn Monroe – Forever

The crypt above the tomb of Marilyn Monroe was put up for sale on eBay last week. Bidding started at $500,000 and had risen to $4.5 million by Tuesday.

If you happen to have an extra $5 million or so lying around, it might not be too late. You could spend eternity resting on top of the movie goddess.

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Tom DeLay is Back. It’s Hammer Time on Dancing With the Stars



The fact that I’ve never seen ABC’s Dancing With the Stars does not keep me from voicing an opinion on one of this season’s stars. And my opinion is…well, never mind. But here are some of the comments being left on the show’s web site.

‘He should be in prison, not working on restoring his tarnished image as a corrupt politician by using DWTS’
  • You have got to be kidding me!?! Why didn’t you ppl just go get your “stars” off death row? Tom DeLay??? Are you bleeping crazy!?! What a insult to the VERY few decent ppl you did chose. I will not be watching, in fact, I will be campaining AGAINST ANYONE I KNOW watching this crap of a show!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If you set out to ruin your reputation and your show, you did it!!!
  • Shame on Dancing With The Stars. Tom Delay is not a “STAR” in anybodies book except the book of felons. He is such a crook. I love this show, but the choice of STARS? is going down hill. Please rethink some of your choices.
  • I’m with everyone else. Tom Delay’s inclusion may cause me to not watch this season…at least not until I’ve heard he’s been booted off. You’ve got the most one-sided biography possible for him, ABC. He’s President of First Principles? That man has NO principles. He should be in prison, not working on restoring his tarnished image as a corrupt politician by using DWTS.
  • you have lost me with this guy. i will not watch this season. he is one of the most hateful,viscious polaririzing, HOMOPHOBIC politicians that has ever disgraced the halls of Congress. what a mistake to cast this hatemonger! do your producers understand that you have a large gay audience and that none of us will waste our time watching this creep?
  • Can you add “money launderer” to Tom Delay’s bio? That might help your ratings in some areas.

Want to express your own opinion on ABC’s strange choice? Please do.

Obama: Can’t We All Just Get a Bud?

They’re saying that Pres. Obama could do for beer what he did for Portuguese water dogs. Breathless reporters are already lining up to reveal what beer is served when Obama sits down with Harvard professor Henry Louis Gates, Jr. and Cambridge police Sgt. James Crowley and asks, “Can’t we all just get along?”

What beer would you serve?

Does the president choose a lager for Thursday’s gathering? A porter? Maybe a wheat beer? Does he pick something light to help the men with the Washington, D.C., summer heat?

Whatever the president picks, it is likely to be closely watched and could even help propel a lesser-known beer into the mainstream.

The four-page story goes on to quote Donna Brazile predicting Sam Adams, Robert Gibbs noting Obama drank Bud at the All-Star game, and Crowley favoring Blue Moon Pale Ale — although honestly, I can’t see Obama drinking anything with an orange slice floating in it.

What beer do Pensito Review readers think should be served at this historic occasion? Leave your order in the comments, along with a generous tip for your server.

It’s Getting Scary Out There: ODS on the Rise

Rep. Mike Castle (R-Del.) watched his recent town hall meeting be hijacked by a sufferer of Obama Derangement Syndrome (ODS). For background on “Birthers,” of which this overwrought woman is obviously one, read John Avlon’s piece at The Daily Beast. The Sarah Palin mobs are starting to look quaint compared to these folks. Some of the comments left so far on YouTube include:

  • AirborneIdentity, i agree with you, who gives a fuck, he’s? also got the Marks of the Beast of the bble drawn in Il Lottery; who gieves a fuck
    the Antichrist can rule the White House, America and the world, “Who gives a fuck ?”
    fucken bastard
  • Not surprisingly, you want the Constitution of TheUnited States to be used as toilet paper juat like Barry Sotero AKA B.? Hussein Obama is doing. Know you’ll be fought every step of the way. Too many good men and women have died to keep it.
  • noldaker, obama is the beast, and antichrist,? the unholy trinity of the two beasts, and satan
    u have to look at the first thing: he’s got the marks of the beast
    check out the featured video of those marks
  • YOU GO GIRL!
    I am a democrat? and I WANT PROOF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!
    I will never ever trust the undemocratic party after this..
    SHOW US THAT BIRTH CERTIFICATE!
    my bet is that they will have forged one ready for 2012..
    I am disgusted at this government! an ineligible man in office! They are lying through their teeth to the american people!

Are you worried yet?

h/t to Politico

MJ Might Be Gone But the Moonwalk, Apparently, Is Eternal

OK, I know, we’re all up to here with the whole Michael Jackson thing, but this is only a little bit about him and alot about his trademark move. And it’s also about how, in a world torn apart by war, famine, inequality and political upheaval, it’s good to remind ourselves that there is an incredible number of nerds out there who are willing and able to demonstrate their nerdiness on camera.

Some outfit called Studio Brussel (yes, without the S) has created Eternal Moonwalk, where anyone with a video camera and no superego to step in and prevent the nonsense can record a 10-second video of themselves doing their own take on Jackson’s famous dance step. Each clip blends into the next, from a warehouse in Belgium to an office in Van Nuys to a living room in Sao Paolo, featuring hot chicks, formerly inanimate objects, small children, guys in boxer shorts, animals and some pretty cool animations.

One is reminded of Jackson’s greatness —he actually could moonwalk like a mofo — while it’s clear that 95 percent of the rest of humanity is totally clueless on how to execute the step. Still, finish whatever you’re doing (because you won’t be able to stop watching once you start) and enjoy the Eternal Moonwalk.

NOW Sanctions Letterman Over Palin Jokes

Statement: ‘NOW hopes that all the conservatives who are fired up about sexism in the media lately will join us in calling out sexism when it is directed at women who aren’t professed conservatives’

Poor David Letterman. He’s finding out the hard way that going up against Sarah Palin can be a very, very unpleasant experience. And now, even, um NOW (the National Organization for Women) is against him.

It all started when Alaska’s governor came to New York to participate in a tribute to William Seward in Auburn, N.Y. on the 50th anniversary of Alaska statehood. After that, she and the fam, who as we know from the 2008 campaign, like to soak up all the freebies they can, attended a Yankees game before heading to Washington for a Republican fund raising dinner. Palin’s 14-year-old daughter, Willow, was at the game. Her more notorious daughter, the 18-year-old Bristol, who recently bore a son without benefit of marriage, was not.

So began Letterman’s troubles.

And if that wasn’t bad enough…

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Quote du Jour

So, yes, people are “angry” at Wall Street. They are also “angry” at Octomom. I wonder if the depth and quality of those two rages differ–or is this all just a television show?…If you want to be angry about something, get pissed at a media culture that goes beserk about bonuses one week and forgets all about them the next. And be worried, quite worried, about a society for whom anger is a form of entertainment.

— Joe Klein (1946 -), columnist and author

Madonna Tops PETA’s Worst-Dressed List

Madonna and 60 chinchillas, after they were electrocuted and skinned

We love the annual worst-dressed list issued by People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA), not just for the light it shines on cruelty for the sake of vanity, but for its snark. This year’s list did not disappoint.

When you see Madonna in fur, you realize why nobody has copied her style since 1984. We know that she’s on the prowl for a young cub, but someone needs to tell Madge that wearing fur doesn’t make you a cougar.

Man! Good stuff.

Since fur adds 20 years and 20 pounds, maybe Mary Kate and Ashley [Olsen] think their matronly wardrobe will deflect the gossip about bulimia. Somewhere, someone is missing a matching pair of Bigfoot bobble head dolls.

Could not have said it better. But I suspect PETA is, like me, a Kanye West fan. They seemed to take it a little easier on him than the others.

Kanye rants about not winning Album of the Year at the Grammy Awards, but what he really deserves is a “lifetime bereavement award” for all of the corpses in his closet. Kanye, we love the quirky suits, but you can’t claim to be “the voice of this generation” while flaunting fur, which is old school and cruel.

Yeah, Kanye and any other fur-wearers. Those skinned animals are screaming so loudly I can’t hear a word you say.