Somewhere in cyberspace …
TheSpeaker: Thank you all for gathering on such short notice. I apologize for choosing instant messaging as the venue for our meeting, particularly in light of everything that’s happened, but it seemed the quickest way to get everyone together without attracting the media’s attention.
SpinMaster: = : O
TalentOnLoanFromGod: = : O
TheSpeaker: Oh, right. I almost forgot: I took the liberty of inviting Bill O’Reilly and Rush Limbaugh to join us for our strategy session today.
TheDoctorIsIn: Fine, but we have to use those dopey icons and abbreviations? Not all of us know the lingo.
TheSpeaker: Good point, Sen. Frist. As always, speak English; we’re in America.
FriendOfMacacas: And welcome to it!
TheSpeaker: Thank you, Sen. Allen. Now, if I may continue. I’ve also invited the president’s trusted adviser, Karl Rove, to lead our session. Karl?
TurdBlossom: Greetings, everyone. Let’s get right to it. As you know, our party is facing a major crisis just weeks before the midterm elections. We need to divert the nation’s attention quickly.
StraightTalk: So catch bin Laden already.
TurdBlossom: Thanks for the “suggestion,” Sen. McCain. We haven’t located Osama just yet, but we do have roughly 6,437 of his second-in-commands that we intend to capture or kill before Nov. 7. Anyone else have SERIOUS ideas on how to divert the attention of the American people?…Rush?
TalentOnLoanFromGod: One word: Billary. If the Clintons hadn’t lowered our moral standards, we wouldn’t be in the fix we’re in.
StraightTalk: I think I need a painkiller.
TalentOnLoanFromGod: Oh, so this is torture too, huh?
TurdBlossom: Boys, boys!
maf54: Heeey, what’s everybody wearing?
TheSpeaker: Foley! Get out of here! Right now!
(maf54 signs off.)
TurdBlossom: O’Reilly, what say you?
SpinMaster: FOX News plans to keep using that graphic misidentifying Foley as a Democrat as often as possible. We’re confident that’ll confuse our viewers.
TurdBlossom: That might help. Anyone else?
FriendOfMacacas: We could stuff a deer head in somebody’s mailbox. It’s a real attention-getter.
TurdBlossom: Thank you, Sen. Allen. But that’s just gross.
RepLaHood: I say we get rid of the page program.
StraightTalk: Oh, jeez. Here he goes again.
RepLaHood: Seriously. If we remove the temptation, we remove the problem.
…TheSpeaker: All right, that’s enough for today. Thanks, everyone. Good luck on the campaign trail. And, remember, before you kiss any babies, get the parents’ express, written permission!