Category: Politics

Topic Header

Earthquakes — Another Reason Florida Is More Dangerous than Southern California

Buck Banks

Magnitudes of disaster: Editor-In-Chief Jon always takes on a slightly condescending attitude when Co-Editor Trish and I complain about hurricanes. As a denizen of West Hollywood, Jon likes to point out that he lives right on top of a REALLY BIG FAULT LINE THAT COULD GO AT ANY MINUTE, WITHOUT WARNING (emphasis mine).

While Jon always is sympathetic to Trish and my plight as huge weather systems hundreds of miles across containing as much enegery as several atomic bombs come barreling toward the Sunshine State, he always plays the earthquake trump card — while we know for days ahead of time that a hurricane is coming and can prepare and/or evacuate, his cats tell him only minutes before he gets a temblor.

So what if we didn’t feel the quake and a killer tsunami didn’t materialize — it’s the idea that it could happen that counts in the game of potential- disaster one-upsmanship.

Well, buddy, we in Florida got our own earthquake this weekend, and a pretty big one, too, at 6.0 on the Richter scale. And we also had a 5.3 one last February. And — unlike Los Angeles — our earthquakes have the potential to generate that third horseman of the apocalypse for Florida: a tsunami! Top that, Jon Boy!

So what if we didn’t quite feel the quake and our killer tsunami looked like a typical two-foot Gulf wave — it’s the idea that it could happen that counts in the psychological game of potential-disaster one-upsmanship.

So let’s review: Dangers that Jon faces in L.A. inlcude earthquakes, not mudslides (since he doesn’t live in Topanga Canyon), traffic, not wildfires, rap-related drive-by gang violence, smog and the actions of a depraved Austrian fascist governor.

The dangers that Trish and I face include earthquakes, tsunamis, hurricanes, alligators, several species of poisonous snake, West Nile virus, fire ants, Africanized bees, falling coconuts, sharks and, following Steve Irwin’s unusual death, stingrays. On top of that, we have the Army Corps of Engineers, which is capable of creating disasters on an epic scale; the dangerously incompetent Florida Legislature; Miami’s emotionally unstable Cuban community, and a chunky, sleazy, untrustworthy born-again governor.

So, Jon, the next time you are awakened by your collection of Hummel figurines crashing to the floor, take comfort in knowing that it was not an angry 10-foot alligator smashing the china cabinet, it was probably just a minor earthquake — and they get those in Florida, too.

Get Well, Trish

Jon Ponder

Buck and I are getting a bit gloomy up here in Pensito Review’s musty, dusty electronic garret because our cohort Trish has been out of commission due to a bit of scheduled (as opposed to emergency, but not elective, so don’t go there!) surgery.

We heard from her today and all is as well. Please join us in sending positive healing energy vibes in the direction of Northeast Florida.

Happy Birthday Jon!

Trish

On this date in one of the years of the last century (it’s not important which), the man who would one day have a cousin named Trish and a college chum named Buck was born.

Today, since it’s three hours earlier in California, he’s probably just getting really sloshed in celebration. I hope so anyway. Happy birthday Jon, and many more!

PR Editor Jon Striken With Flu

Trish

If it seems a little quiet around the halls of Pensito Review, it’s because PR Editor Jon — fully one-half of our three-person team — was stricken with an exotic California disease earlier this week.

After first making sure with resident expert PR Editor Buck that what Jon, a vegetarian, has is not bird flu, he valiantly submitted to recommendations for various rememdies from both Trish and Buck. Airborne and Emergen-C were both praised, while Zicam was panned.

Later, realizing Jon is after all in California, Buck suggested he avail himself of local custom and have his chakras adjusted, his chi energy redirected, and the feng shui of his apartment realigned.

On a note of familial pride, Jon is to be commended for vigilantly avoiding OTC rememdies that interfere with the body’s natural drinking process.

If you have a favorite flu cure, or just want to send a note of condolence, please post it now.

Hurricane Wilma Currently Affecting Pensito Review’s Miami Office

Jon Ponder

Good luck, Buck! Here in the (relative) safety of Pensito Review’s West Hollywood office, we’re glued to cable news, watching as Hurricane Wilma grinds its way across southern Florida. Winds are lacerating the Miami area, whichs is the site of one of our two offices in the Sunshine State.

Editor Trish in northern Florida appears to be up and running, but we’re assuming that Miami-based editor Buck is among the 2.2 million Floridians who are currently without power.

We hope to have a first-person account from Buck soon.

Results of PR’s In-House Tagline Contest

Jon Ponder

As you can see in the masthead, we have a new tagline. “Pensito Review: Poltics & Culture.” It has a nice bland ring to it, doesn’t it?

Believe it or not, “Politics & Culture” was chosen via a contest here in the electronic garret we call PR World Headquarters. Other entries included:

  • Pensito Review: News, Views and Internet Artifacts of Monumental Import
  • Pensito Review: Thoughtfulness for the Mindful
  • Pensito Review: popping political blisters
  • Pensito Review: Danger and Excitement
  • Pensito Review: Little Bads for the Greater Good
  • Pensito Review: Because politics is too important to leave to the politicians
  • Pensito Review: No Like-um Neocons
  • Pensito Review: Cynicism with a Smile
  • Pensito Review: Shards of Truth for a Fractured World
  • Pensito Review: Say Hello to My Little Friend
  • Pensito Review: It Means “To Think”
  • Pensito Review: Snide & Snarky
  • Pensito Review: Have you ever seen a grown man naked?
  • Pensito Review: Would you like to?
  • Pensito Review: Flying Monkey Poo

Obviously, any of these would have worked very well but we decided to go with “Politics & Culture.”

And We Both Have Oranges

Trish

One of the two people who run this blog lives in California and the other in Florida. Today’s New York Times had an interesting article that, along with psychoanalyzing Florida, contrasts the two states and wonders if Florida is the new California.

California used to be the capital of cultural, political and environmental crises, the place that baffled and mesmerized with its vivid goings-on. But while Florida still has a smaller population – not only than California but New York and Texas, too – its rapidly changing demographics and politics, combined with the fact that it is still so young, make for a potent mix.

“California looks like a staid old New England state at this point,” said James Kane, chief pollster for Florida Voter, a nonpartisan polling group. “In some respects people here get embarrassed, but there is a certain amount of pride that we are not like any other state.”

The fact that most of us just moved here yesterday (the saying is, “Everybody wants to be the last one to move to Florida”) and hate everybody that moved here today explains a lot of the weirdness.

After all, most Floridians are not from Florida. If you moved from Boston, Cleveland or New York, Havana or Caracas or San Juan, watching high drama in your backyard feels not so different from watching from a relaxed distance, Mr. Kane said…

“When people have lived here for a while and have roots and multiple generations, some other state will become the next Florida,” he said. “Some other place where it’s warm and there’s a lot of land and opportunity for people to make their fortune.”

Maybe Arizona, he said.

Thanks to Florida Politics for discovering this article.