When Newt Gingrich announced last weekend that he would not be running for president, I wasn’t too surprised. See, for the past several weeks, I have subscribed to Newt’s e-newsletter, Winning the Future Through Human Events.
Now I know I’m going to catch it from co-editor Trish for that confession, but I just wanted to know what Newt was up to. Call it research.
Two weeks ago, he announced in his newsletter (which carries really pathetic adverts, but more on that in a minute) that he would be announcing his American Solutions for the Future agenda in Second Life on Thursday, Sept. 27. I signed up, mainly because I wanted to see what kind of avatar Newt would choose (my guess: tall, dark, slender, handsome — after all, you can be who you want to be in Second Life, and why would he choose to be a short, chunky Georgian?).
This Free Report Reveals How You Can Reverse 50 Years of Artery Plaque With Just Four Tiny Capsules a Day!
Didn’t happen. I was supposed to get a notice about where in Second Life Newt would be ‘splaining his solutions for the future, but didn’t get one. I went to Second Life at the appointed time, but could get nothing from the virtual child molesters, pickpockets and perverts that I encountered there. And I didn’t want to spend any Linden dollars tracking the Newt down.
Then, last weekend, Newt announced that he would not run for president because he couldn’t do that and run American Solutions, due to it being a 527 organization. In other words, Newt would be prevented from running for prez while heading up his cash cow that falls into that gray area outside election finance laws:
According to the IRS, a Section 527 (§527) organization is an organization that is created to receive and disburse funds to influence or attempt to influence the nomination, election, appointment or defeat of candidates for public office.
On the face of the above definition, a §527 Organization sounds like a PAC. In effect that is what a §527 organization is—a PAC by another name. However, there is one key difference, a §527 organization does not fall within the regulator realm of the Federal Election Commission and therefore it is not subject to the same limits as FEC-regulated PACs.
Often called “soft money†PACs or organizations, a §527 organization is permitted to accept contributions in any amount from any source. However, the organization is required to make regular reports to the Internal Revenue Service of its funding and expenditures.
Except not all 527s are required to report to the IRS. Is American Solutions? Who knows?
I received an e-mail yesterday in which Newt tries to explain why he simply can’t run for president. His explanation? Those Blue Meanies, McCain-Feingold, the campaign finance reform legislation, which rightly draws a line between shadow organizations like American Solutions and political action committees and legitimate campaign organizations.
Co-Editor Jon nailed it Sunday when he said Newt is just too damn unpopular to win the presidency and that the Newtster is more interested in maintaining a cushy source of revenue than doing the hard work of campaigning and governing.
And, man, the dough must be rolling in, given the kinds of adverts Newt is running in his newsletter. There’s this snake-oil pitch:
FREE Report
THE 23-CENT LIFE-SAVER Heart Surgeons NEVER TELL YOU ABOUT!
This Free Report Reveals How You Can Reverse 50 Years of Artery
Plaque With Just Four Tiny Capsules a Day!
Scientific studies have proven this one nutrient is up to 82%
effective at eliminating rogue calcium from plaque, causing
clogs to soften, and be flushed away. As plaque is flushed away,
healthy blood flow is restored to the heart, brain, muscles, and
every organ in your body.
This report reveals the astonishing health miracle 1.5 million
grateful patients swear by. So safe, it’s FDA-APPROVED for use
in baby food. So effective, you can actually SEE it working. So
Cheap, it’s JUST 23 cents per capsule.
I wonder how you can see it working INSIDE YOUR ARTERIES!
And this one:
NEVADA WATER DEAL SET TO PAY 381%
The fight for water in the Southwest is heating up faster than a
blow torch. The Arizona Republic calls it “a classic Western
showdown.” And right now one small company is about to turn this vicious demand into millions of dollars on one of the most
important water deals in decades — at near record prices.
This company is about turn its holdings into a 102,000% gain.
Investors have only a short time to get in on this deal before
the hedge funds or private equity gobble it up …
Wow! A 102,000 percent gain! I wonder if Fed Chair Ben Bernanke knows about that.
And then there’s this gem:
IF DEMOCRATS HAD ANY BRAINS, THEY’D BE REPUBLICANS
Ann Coulter at her funniest and most outrageous
Who knew Ann Coulter was funny?
So, not only is Newt getting dough from the 1,200 misguided individuals who actually showed up at the the Cobb Galleria Centre in Atlanta, Ga., Saturday — so many more than the Newt expected, they had to “expand the ballroom we were in by removing a wall and setting up more chairs” — he’s raking it in off Web ads for Ann Coulter books. Ew!
No wonder a run for president seemed like too much work. “Winning the Future” indeed — one click at a time.