One Stupid Stone
The Trump campaign got hacked in a weird plot twist,
So, the media said, “No news here,” and whiffed.
But the Iranian hackers
Knew who they were attackin’ —
And Roger Stone is just another senior sucker who got phished.
Category: Poetic Justice
Blame the Maize
It’s summer in the Midwest with the highest temperatures yet.
Heat warnings of 115 degrees are making farmers fret.
It’s tough enough farming
In the face of global warming,
But now they also have to worry about something called “corn sweat.”
More Abortion Contortions
We’re used to seeing Donald Trump’s policy contortions,
Like, whatever’s playing this minute is his current position.
A nationwide one would be great,
Or should we leave it to the states?
You just can’t pin the Trumpster down on abortion.
The Whimsy That’s Lindsey
Sometimes, being Lindsey Graham really stinks,
On top of the elbow pokes and knowing winks.
He’s got the spine of an eggplant
And the heart of a syncophant,
But now even Donald Trump doesn’t care what Lindsey thinks.
Pave Our Parks
Florida’s Ron DeSantis has always been a fan of sports,
But his current game is enriching his GOP cohorts.
He feels it’s his Christian duty
To double down on meanness and cruelty,
So he’s turning our state parks into golf courses and pickleball courts.
Secretary of Losing
With his presidential campaign on all but life support,
RFK Jr. is lobbying for a cabinet post, according to reports.
He’s approached the Trump campaign,
And with Harris, sought the same,
But so far, no one has promised him Secretary of Dead Bear Transport.
One Lame Campaign
It’s pretty widely agreed: Trump’s campaign is a hot mess,
No one asserts anymore he’s playing thee-dimensional chess.
It’s a funny kind of campaign,
Based on lies, invective and blame,
And featuring press conferences at his golf courses — without the press.
Don’t Monkey Around
Just when you thought you’d had all your shots
At your local neighborhood doc-in-the-box,
The World Health Organization
Offered some alarming information:
There’s a raging global outbreak of the dreaded monkey pox.
Yale Drag Fail
As a teen, JD questioned, which doesn’t make him a fag.
While at Yale, he dressed like a girl (we assume) as a gag.
The eyeliner was smokey,
But the blonde wig was hokey,
And Trump’s VP looked like a childless cat lady in drag.
He’s Just Unbearable
No doubt, it’s a quixotic campaign on which he’s embarked.
So, is Robert Kennedy Jr. serious or is it all just a lark?
Why hasn’t his anti-vaxxer conspiracy
And bug-eaten brain shit-canned his candidacy?
And do we really want to elect a guy who dumped a dead bear in Central Park?
