On the Line
The listeners were the problem, says Trump, in retrospect.
Without the listeners, he could speak his mind, unchecked.
Now that will stop,
No one will eavesdrop,
And all Trump’s calls with foreign leaders will be absolutely “perfect.”
Category: Poetic Justice
He Said It!
OK, we all knew the Senate was going to acquit,
And that truth and justice had nothing to do with it.
Though Trump’s still aggrieved,
And we’re feeling peeved,
We admit we agreed when he said, “It was all bullshit.”
Off His Pace
The Senate has acquitted him of misdemeanors and high crimes,
But Donald Trump still has us watching closely for dementia signs.
In his State of the Union
We detected some confusion —
During the whole 78 minutes of speaking, he only lied 31 times.
Done In by Digital
For Iowans it’s always been important to be first,
But last night Iowa’s caucus bubble was burst.
They’re good at milking cows
And growing corn and raising sows,
But at creating mobile phone applications, they’re the worst!
O, Illusive Impeachment!
Trump’s impeachment trial has been full of moments teachable,
Though agreement on high crimes and misdemeanors seems unreachable.
But out of the rhetorical profusion
Comes one Republican conclusion:
That nothing Donald Trump has done, is doing or may do is impeachable.
Champion of Women?
With sexual assaults on women his past is rife,
He didn’t even spend his anniversary with his wife.
Here’s one more reason women
Should not be voting for him:
Trump’s the first president to attend the March for Life.
Trump on Trial
The first day in the Senate featured bellicosity and bile,
While Schiff delivered a jeremiad with chutzpah and style.
We heard mostly baloney
From Sekulow and Cippolone,
But one fact can’t be debated — Donald J. Trump is on trial.
Idiot-In-Chief
His instances of idiocy are as frequent as they are egregious,
But with his Iranian adventure his stupidity’s turned grievous.
Trump’s a world-class lie-teller,
Though not much of a speller —
When asked what his middle initial J stood for, he said, “Genius.”
King of Stupid
It’s sometimes hard to remember Trump has a higher education,
When he’s tweeting lies and insults, and denying allegations.
But though he has a B.S. degree,
His true, everlasting legacy
Is that he singlehandedly dumbed down an entire nation.
