From Trump’s “stolen election” lies, we can’t get no relief,
He carps on about stolen votes, but he never names the thief.
Somebody needs to tell this guy
Americans aren’t buying his lies,
And that he’s turned us into the United States of Disbelief.
From Donald Trump the world’s modern populists are taking a cue,
When scandal erupts they dish out a helping of “deep state” stew.
If a cabal of elites attacks democracy,
The modern populists cry out “WWTD!”
For when globalists attack, modern populists ask, “What Would Trump Do?”
Eric Trump got the Palm Beach airport renamed in honor of his pop,
But the vain attempt to curry favor with daddy was bound to flop.
See, the logo Eric provided
Has now widely been derided
As just another instance of half-assed Trump-produced AI slop.
The recent news out of Kentucky was just awful,
They found the senator unconscious and horizontal.
And since his hospitalization,
There’s been little news about his condition,
But now everybody’s having a 20-minute conversation with Mitch McConnell.
After Trump’s gone, how best to erase the legacy
Of all the stupid things he’s done to Washington, D.C.?
For one, every re-elected president,
Or newly elected White House resident,
Should cross to Lafayette Park and plant another maple tree.
The retooling of Trump’s Freedom 250, where will it end?
The has-beens set to play decided they’d rather not attend.
How best to celebrate our 250-year-old democracy,
As it’s being replaced by a Christo-fascist autocracy?
How about the national anthem as sung by Kash Patel’s girlfriend.
When Trump speaks of Greenland, he sounds like a mobster,
He just wants all their resources so his mob can prosper.
But appointee Dan Stans has another plan —
We get all their seafood when we take Greenland,
Then we revive “Endless Shrimp” and save the treasured Red Lobster.
Since 1984 Donald Trump has been known as a “short-fingered vulgarian,”
And he’s proven himself to be a comically cantankerous contrarian.
Last week he turned eighty,
And we all paid for his party,
So now he’s just a fat, old, cranky, sleepy, short-fingered octogenarian.
Donald Trump, totally unsurprisingly, said, “I love the inflation.”
That puts him in a tiny minority of the general population.
Yes, he’s one of the billionaire elite,
Who don’t worry about having enough to eat,
And to whom “affordability” is just another liberal ideation.
All the “third-rate artists” bailed, so now it’s all up to Don,
But Trump is a consummate performer who is taking the baton.
He says he’s bigger than Elvis Presley,
So he’ll turn the 250 party into a political rally,
And one thing we know, no matter how lame, the Trump Show MUST go on.
Don Jr. and Bettina are finding out marriage ain’t a walk in the park,
Not even when your daddy is a self-proclaimed genius and wannabe monarch.
It began with a small private wedding ceremony,
But the after-parties were where it really got tony,
With fireworks and a private Bahamian island, paid for by a Russian oligarch.
