Tis the season, or at least the day, for a little fakery, so here are some headlines that are too good to be true, even though we wish they were.

• Dennis Rodman Promises to Stay Home and Never Visit Anywhere Again
• Sen. Marco Rubio Announces Immigration Reform Planning to Begin “Within His Lifetime”
• Media Sources Pass One Whole Week Without Commenting on Michelle Obama’s Hair or Dress
• Tea Party Leader Explains The Entire Movement is All About Race
• “Plots Involving Vampires All Used Up,” Hollywood Studios Say
• Sarah Palin Tragedy: Chokes on Big Gulp, Trips Over Teleprompter, Lands in Coma
• Fracking Outlawed After Oil Companies Apologize: “We Couldn’t Believe You Let Us Take It This Far. Sorry.”
• Scientists Discover Link Between Increased Sugar Consumption and Weight Loss
• House Republicans Push Assault Weapons Ban

O.K., that gets us started. Please add your own April Fool’s headline in the comments.

Note to my fellow editors: Please add yours in the post.