Poetic Justice
Buck Banks | Jan. 5, 2026
Today Nicolas Maduro was arraigned in New York on charges of narco-terrorism,
He pleaded “not guilty” and claimed to be a “decent man,” not a villain.
But Maduro got bad legal advice:
His lawyer forgot Trump Inherent Vice™ —
He should have pleaded guilty and then bought a Trump Pardon™ for two million.
Verbatim
“If I were you, Mr. President, I would kill the leadership that are killing the people.”
— Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-SC), on Fox News, urging President Trump to kill Iran’s supreme leader.
“A tyrannical theocracy has shut down the internet for an entire country so the world can’t see the brutal tactics it plans to use to crush a free Iran. In my view, this is the biggest free-speech story in the world right now.”
— Greg Lukianoff, head of the Foundation for Individual Rights and Expression, on X.
“It ?would probably be the biggest mistake any president has made in the history of this country. For us to threaten them, especially with force, that we’re just gonna take your stuff; we’re gonna take your territory—is that who we’ve become? That’s Russia. We are not that kind of a nation.”
— Sen. Mark Kelly (D-AZ), in an interview with The Atlantic, on President Trump threatening to take over Greenland.
Numerati
15 million
There have been at least 15 million flu cases this season, according to the latest estimates from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, reports ABC News. This year, outpatient visits for flu-like symptoms reached the highest recorded level since the agency began tracking cases more than 30 years ago.
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335,000
New data reveals that a staggering 335,000 federal workers left government work last year, with the vast majority quitting or retiring — only 11,000 were a result of layoffs from Elon Musk’s Department of Government Efficiency, the Washington Post reports.
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10%
“President Donald Trump has called on credit card companies to cap interest rates at 10 percent for a year, effective from Jan. 20, without specifying how the proposal could be implemented or enforced,” the Washington Post reports. Associated Press: Americans would save $100B if credit card rates were capped as Trump proposed.
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$1.5 trillion
“President Trump proposed on Wednesday increasing military spending next year by more than half, raising the defense budget in 2027 to $1.5 trillion as he pushes for American imperialism in Venezuela and beyond,” the New York Times reports. “The president’s request for a $600 billion increase in military spending comes as his administration flexes military strength around the world.”
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33%
One in three Americans approve of the U.S. military strike on Venezuela that toppled the country’s president and 72% worry the U.S. will become too involved in the South American country, according to a Reuters/Ipsos poll.
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