Tag: Free State of Florida
Inane Name Game
In the Free State of Florida, we’ve got a lock on hokey,
So if Donald Trump wants something done, we say okey-dokey.
“Alligator Alcatraz” was really neat-o
And then we built the “Deportation Depot,”
But we saved the best playful name for last with “Panhandle Pokey.”
‘I See Woke People’
For setting Floridians free, Governor Ron DeSantis makes no apologies,
But his ability to sense wokeness is something out of horror movies.
Ron always seems a little too intense,
Like that spooky kid from “The Sixth Sense” —
Because everywhere he looks, he sees … woke ideologies.
Cowards Erased the Rainbow Crosswalks
“In the dark of night, they came to erase our show of solidarity, our declaration that we will never forget. The cowards who feel threatened by our lives should feel lucky they didn’t have to bury the ones they love — then watch the state come & desecrate their memory.”
– Pulse shooting survivor Brandon Wolf, to Florida Phoenix.
Vaccination Emancipation Health without freedom is slavery ...
In the Free State of Florida, we does as we pleases.
We don’t believe in wokeness or childhood diseases.
Surgeon General Ladapo provides us guidance,
Proclaiming us no longer slaves to science,
And from those dangerous vaccine mandates he’s freed us.
Crosswalk Poppycock
Florida’s fascists have achieved a new depth of lunacy:
They believe painted streets are liberal advocacy.
At the presser we expected DeSantis to say
Rainbow crosswalks are recruitment tools for gays,
As the Free State of Florida sinks ever closer to idiocy.
Hades in the Everglades
Alligator Alcatraz has found some loopholes to latch onto.
Florida built it, but can’t enforce immigration;
Feds run it, but shirk environmental regulation.
Meanwhile, prisoners live in cages sans the legal process they’re due.
Everglades Devil’s Island
And Ron DeSantis and James Uthmeier are his kind of lads.
The boys built an ICE camp for Trump
In the heart of a dismal, dangerous swamp,
So it’s just hot, nasty and cruel enough, Trump’s Alligator Alcatraz.
Whither Democrats’ Weather?
Once again, Florida’s legislature leads a benighted nation,
By introducing a bill against “weather manipulation.”
Florida Republicans have gone off the rails
Over contrails, cloud seeds and chemtrails,
But this law will end the Democrats’ hurricane modification.
