Author: Buck Banks
Inane Name Game
In the Free State of Florida, we’ve got a lock on hokey,
So if Donald Trump wants something done, we say okey-dokey.
“Alligator Alcatraz” was really neat-o
And then we built the “Deportation Depot,”
But we saved the best playful name for last with “Panhandle Pokey.”
American Jews Turning Against Israel Over Gaza War
61%
GOP House Districts Consume More Obamacare Subsidies
12 million
Oh No! My OOO!
If you’re furloughed in a government shutdown, it’s wise
To craft an out-of-office reply that doesn’t proselytize.
But if you work for the Department of Education,
You can expect some unwelcome emendations,
As they fill your OOO with partisan distortions and lies.
If Mamdani’s a Socialist, Trump Is a Socialist
“If you’re going to criticize the socialist Mamdani for wanting to own grocery stores, you better criticize Republicans who want a share of Intel, of Nvidia, or U.S. Steel. Owning even part of the means of production is a step toward socialism. It’s a bad idea and a dangerous precedent.”
— Sen. Rand Paul (R-KY), on X.
Over Half of Americans Think Economy Is Bad
59%
A new CBS News poll finds 59% of Americans say the economy is “getting worse” and 52% describe the job market as “bad.”
Colbert Mocks Shutdown
“Evidently, ‘The Late Show’ has outlasted the United States federal government, because we’re still open, and they done shut down.”
— Stephen Colbert, on his Wednesday night show.
Trump’s Memes Team Creamed
The government shutdown is already taking terrible tolls,
Since Trump sicced Russ Vought on the government’s payrolls.
But there’s one silver lining
That journalists are finding:
The shutdown has cut the number of Trump’s press office trolls.
Shutdown Shit Show
Government shutdowns like this aren’t good for anyone, bub,
And it’s not likely to expand the Donald Trump Fan Club.
But Trump and Republicans seem
To be fulfilling Grover Norquists’ dream —
Make the U.S. government small enough to drown it in a bathtub.
