Author: Buck Banks
Compliant Broadcasting Service
60 Minutes was set to broadcast “Inside CECOT” and started to hype it,
But given the story angle, they knew Donald Trump wouldn’t like it.
They claimed the decision was “editorial,”
When in fact it was undeniably political,
Which is why Trump’s CBS news stooge Bari Weiss had to spike it.
Flaming Uthmeier on Fire
We think Florida Attorney General James Uthmeier is a bigoted putz.
He says a Christmas drag show in Pensacola is blasphemous gay smut.
He says the show “is designed to inflame religious strife,”
But perhaps his unsolicited opinions hint at a secret life,
And if you know what that means, we think he doth protest too much.
Performance-Enhancing Profanity
There are those of us who wield profanity with chutzpah and aplomb —
Hit your thumb with a hammer and cussing feels like a healing balm.
Now scientific research has proven
Curse words get your head and body moving,
So next time you want to perform your best, just drop a vulgar F-bomb.
Most Loathsome President Ever
“Though I tend to think it’s usually a waste of space to devote a column to President Trump’s personality — what more is there to say about the character of this petty, hollow, squalid, overstuffed man? — sometimes the point bears stressing: We are led by the most loathsome human being ever to occupy the White House.”
— Bret Stephens
Drop in the Bucket
Hundreds of thousands more Epstein files released — still just the iceberg’s tip,
And then 16 disappeared overnight — more conspiracy fuel or just a minor slip?
The DOJ seems totally ineffectual to handle
This slow-motion train wreck of a scandal,
So all we can do is watch the slow release, file by filthy file, drip by distasteful drip.
Too Numerous to Name
Politifact’s annual Lie of the Year stands out, impact-wise,
The premier prevarication is usually both shocking and unwise.
But in 2025 the lies came so fast and furious,
And were so widely hurtful and broadly injurious,
Politfact just gave up and called 2025 The Year of the Lies.
