Author: Buck Banks
Trump Seeks to Dominate the Americas
“In the 30 years before the current Trump administration, U.S. foreign policy in Latin America had largely focused on supporting democracy and free trade. … Mr. Trump has overhauled that approach to focus on what is in it for the United States — or, in many cases, for him.”
— New York Times
Damned Dangerous Doctrine
With Trump on the rampage, no nation is sovereign,
He’s bent on regime change, and Congress? Eh, fuck ’em.
Where next will Trump’s juggernaut go?
Look out, Cuba, Colombia and Mexico!
We’re going to pwn the Western Hemisphere under this new “Donroe Doctrine.”
A Coup de Trump
Trump’s Venezuela invasion poked that ol’ regime-change groundhog,
So now he can “run” the country like an inebriated oil hog.
When your numbers are bad at home,
Naturally, a dictator’s eye will roam,
Looking for a likely location to start a war and wag the dog.
Ew! of the Year
Stephen Miller was named Scoundrel of the Year, and what’s more
He’s a cruel, smirking, white nationalist, ethnocentric bore.
But according to his wife Katie,
Who intimately knows her bald matey,
He is — though we don’t want to know what she means — a “sexual matador.”
Mamdani on Managing Expectations
“I have been told that this is the occasion to reset expectations, that I should use this opportunity to encourage the people of New York to ask for little and expect even less. I will do no such thing. The only expectation I seek to reset is that of small expectations.”
— New York City Zohran Mamdani (D), quoted by Politico.
Sick of Health Questions
Donald Trump is looking tired, old and ill, but don’t call the paramedics,
It’s media questions about his health that make the old codger sick.
At the advanced age of 79,
Our president’s on borrowed time,
But he won’t change his diet or exercise because he says he’s got “good genetics.”
How to Handle Scandal in 2026
“If there’s one thing 2025 has made clear, it’s that in today’s Washington, scandal is just noise. The people who survive it are the ones who learned from President Trump that endurance—not accountability—is the real strategy. Ride out the shame long enough and it eventually fades.”
— Tara Palmeri
U.S. Measles Cases Hit New High
2,000+
“The number of recorded measles cases in the U.S. during 2025 has exceeded 2,000 for the first time in more than 30 years,” Axios reports. “This year’s surge in cases and prolonged outbreaks could cause the U.S. to lose its globally recognized measles ‘elimination status’ for the first time in decades by the end of January 2026.” … “The outbreaks come amid Health Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr.’s efforts to downplay the risks of measles and spread misleading claims about the vaccine, while suggesting other alternatives without evidence.”
Fear the New Year
Donald Trump’s first year back in office has felt like a curse,
The stupidity, cruelty and grifting are hard to put into verse.
But one thing’s for certain,
When we lift 2026’s curtain,
Things are going to go from extraordinarily bad to unbelievably worse.
