Author: Buck Banks
An Insider Betting on Iran Wins Big
$1 million
“A trader made nearly $1 million since 2024 from dozens of well-timed Polymarket bets that correctly predicted US and Israeli military actions against Iran,” CNN reports. “The bettor won a staggering 93% of their five-figure wagers about Iran, even though the events they predicted were unannounced military operations.”
Farce of a Deal
In his latest fight against windmills, Trump seems to have won,
Canceling $1 billion in wind farm leases by a French corporation.
If the French invest it in American oil and gas,
We give them every one of the billion dollars back,
Which seems like a really stupid way for a government to be run.
Iran Conflict Leaves American Conflicted
90%
A new CBS News poll shows majorities of Americans think it’s important for the U.S. to end the war as soon as possible (92 percent), guarantee the freedom of Iranians (80 percent), end Iran’s nuclear programs for good (73 percent) and end the war without Iran’s current leaders in power (53 percent). Americans overall think that the war is going badly — and, by a 2-to-1 margin, they’re not willing to pay more for gas.
Why Is Scott Bessent Discussing Iran?
“Sometimes you have to escalate to de-escalate.”
— Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent, talking about the Iran War on Meet the Press.
Trump Is Down to Four Bad Options
“Mr Trump’s defenders insist that his rhetorical gymnastics are part of the plan: the president is keeping his options open, and keeping Iran on its toes. To almost everyone else it is clear that America entered this war with a flawed strategy, starting with its failure to anticipate that Iran would close the strait. … With the fighting entering a fourth week, Mr Trump has four options for how to proceed. He can talk, leave, continue or escalate. If he has not yet chosen one, it is because none of them are good.”
— The Economist
Here, There, Everywhere
And here we thought the Iran War was happening way over there,
In the Middle East, half a world away, so … nothing to fear.
Then the State Department had to blurt
A terrifying Worldwide Caution Alert,
Because, as it turns out, Americans aren’t safe on earth anywhere.
Air Travel with ICE
Trump’s sending ICE agents to airports to bolster the TSA,
‘Cause those TSA guys are calling in sick or working sans pay.
Now, if you try to carry on a 5-ounce shampoo,
Here’s what an ICE airport security agent’ll do:
Zip-tie your wrists and march you off to somewhere far, far away.
Trump’s Cashed-In Cabinet
To join Trump’s cabinet is to open oneself to ill-use and abuse,
They wanted power and prominence, and now they’re paying their dues.
They endure public humiliations
And suffer ongoing degradations,
But worst of all, they now have to wear those “goddamned Florsheim shoes.”*
*H/T to Jake Gittes
