Year: 2026
Walz Asks, What’s the Plan?
“What’s the plan, Donald Trump? What is the plan? What do we need to do to get these federal agents out of our state? If fear, violence and chaos is what you wanted from us, then you clearly underestimated the people of this state and nation.”
— Minnesota Gov. Tim Walz (D), quoted by CBS News.
Trump Lost at Davos
“Donald Trump and his team clearly went to Davos determined to demean and insult their hosts. It was, one might say, a novel approach to diomacy: ‘You’re pathetic, your societies and economies are falling apart, now give us Greenland.’ … And it worked about as well as you’d expect. Trump may have imagined that the Europeans would cower in the face of his wrath. Instead, they humiliated him. He dropped his latest tariff threats in return for a ‘framework’ that gave the United States essentially nothing it didn’t already have — and left behind a Europe that is finally united in resistance to his bullying.”
— Paul Krugman
Framework But No Paperwork
Donald Trump bumbled about WEF at Davos like a clown,
But he made a Greenland deal before leaving town.
He came away with a framework,
But alas, with no paperwork,
Because oddly, through a clerical error (?), nobody wrote anything down.
Hot Pot of Despots
We tend to think of Donald Trump as an evil, narcissistic race-baiter,
But he actually has designs on being something much greater.
Like an urban dumpster attracts rats
Trump’s Board of Peace attracts autocrats,
Because, as Donny is wont to opine, “Sometimes you need a dictator.”
The Biden-Maduro Conspiracy
It’s as if Donald Trump’s brain has an infection
That keeps him obsessed with losing the 2020 election.
He now says that Biden and Maduro schemed,
Using Venezuelan software, to rig voting machines,
In what was surely the world’s greatest evil-genius collaboration.
TACO Wednesday in Davos A foolish consistency ...
Trump swaggered into Davos like a doddering old lout,
Threatening NATO allies with his tired old tariff knout.
But even as Trump was bloviating,
The tariff threats began evaporating,
Because, as was easily predictable, Trump Always Chickens Out.
What Price Peas?
Legumes can add protein to one’s MAHA diet with ease.
They have fiber and vitamins to ward off disease.
But few so far seem willing
To pony up a cool billion
To secure a seat on Donald Trump’s new international Board of Peas.
