In the wake of presidential candidate Newt Gingrich’s staff quitting his campaign en masse yesterday, the media has typically piled on the former Speaker of the House, saying that this third blow to his campaign (see: criticizing the Ryan budget plan, keeping a $500k account at Tiffany’s) would be deadly. However, like last time, when his then-spokesman Rick Tyler fired off his now classic, unbowed and unbeaten response, an anonymous campaign worker has risen to defend Newt, who just returned from a two-week cruise, in what has come to be known as Newtian Campaign Rhetorical Style:
The travel agent sent Newt on vacation for two weeks. Campaign staffers cannot tolerate candidates who might disrupt their comfortable world. The mass exodus started when the cowardly sensed the absence of the brave. They left timidly at first, then the sheep not wanting to hear about the captain’s cocktail party on the cruise ship unloaded their desk drawers, taking their posters and their campaign buttons. Now they are left unemployed by their petty assumptions and sense of abandonment. But surely they could shame him into calling off his vacation. That is the way it always worked before. A lesser person could not have simply turned his back on his staff and cruised off into the sunset. But there, at the ship’s railing, as the ship’s horn blew, emerged Gingrich, once again ready to lead those who won’t be intimated by the political elite and are ready to take on the challenges America faces — after his luxury vacation.
Rick Tyler’s original response after the jump.
The literati sent out their minions to do their bidding. Washington cannot tolerate threats from outsiders who might disrupt their comfortable world. The firefight started when the cowardly sensed weakness. They fired timidly at first, then the sheep not wanting to be dropped from the establishment’s cocktail party invite list unloaded their entire clip, firing without taking aim their distortions and falsehoods. Now they are left exposed by their bylines and handles. But surely they had killed him off. This is the way it always worked. A lesser person could not have survived the first few minutes of the onslaught. But out of the billowing smoke and dust of tweets and trivia emerged Gingrich, once again ready to lead those who won’t be intimated by the political elite and are ready to take on the challenges America faces.
